In what should surely rank among some of the most grotesque propaganda ever to be churned out by Watchtower’s writing department, Jehovah’s Witnesses are being asked to think of their disfellowshipped family members, not just as being dead, but as having been killed by Jehovah. As such they are not to be mourned.
“What a test of faith it was for Aaron and his family not to mourn their dead relatives!” says the latest November 15th Watchtower magazine on page 14, describing the slaughter of Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu through fire from heaven. “Are you personally proving yourself holy with regard to not associating with family members or others who have been disfellowshipped?”
The bizarre connection with Nadab and Abihu follows on from a similar article in 2011 in which the biblical account was invoked to guilt-trip Witness parents into avoiding “unnecessary association” with any disfellowshipped son or daughter.
“Think of how [Aaron] must have felt when his sons Nadab and Abihu offered illegitimate fire to Jehovah and He struck them dead. Of course, that ended any association those men could have had with their parents… The message is clear. Our love for Jehovah must be stronger than our love for unfaithful family members.” (w11 7/15 p.32)
It should go without saying that in order to invoke the direct slaughter of miscreants by God in justifying the total shunning of any who leave a religion, you first need to provide unequivocal proof that the religion in question is solely endorsed by God – a claim that virtually all religions make.
Watchtower has yet to write anything that comes close to offering tangible evidence of divine backing. It merely asks Witnesses to believe that Jesus made an invisible sojourn to Earth between 1914 and 1919, and used this period to ‘cleanse’ and select an organization he is apparently still ‘cleansing’ to this day – the Watch Tower Society.
The total vacuum of evidence to support Watchtower’s claims of divine direction make any attempted parallels with bible accounts of divine execution and excommunication both absurd and obscene.
If only Watchtower could rediscover some of the logic and reasonableness that led it to conclude in a 1947 Awake! article that the practice of disfellowshipping (or “excommunication”) is an instrument of “ecclesiastical power and secular tyranny” that is “altogether foreign to biblical teachings.”
The 1947 article can be downloaded on these links: Page 1 | Page 2
Instead, Witnesses are bombarded with manipulative dogma (centered around a flawed understanding of 1 Cor. 5:11) aimed at dismantling families for the sake of Watchtower’s interests. Even the sending of emails to disfellowshipped ones is prohibited according to another recent magazine.
“Do not look for excuses to associate with a disfellowshipped family member, for example, through e-mail.” (w13 1/15 p.16 par. 19)
Though it may be easy for Watchtower’s cloistered Governing Body and its army of writers to spew forth this outrageous material, the effects on ordinary people who simply want to leave a religion they have discovered to be false are all too tangible, as this question in our latest 2014 Global Survey shows.
As reassuring as it is that 23% of disfellowshipped/disassociated ones answering the above question say they are NOT shunned by family members, that number is not likely to rise given the steady stream of coercion flowing from Brooklyn.
I personally believe there will come a time when all religious organizations who seek tax exempt or charitable status will be answerable to Article 18 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which recognizes an individual’s innate right to “change his religion or belief.”
But as Watchtower presses forward with its efforts to deprive people of this basic right through its immoral shunning policies with an almost sadistic fervor, such a time cannot come soon enough.
Further reading…
- Patheos.com: “Jehovah’s Witness Publication Urges Faithful to Treat Disfellowshipped Loved Ones as if God Killed Them“
- If shunning loved ones is scriptural, why does Watchtower publicly deny the practice?
- “Shun your disfellowshipped loved ones!”: Shocking district convention talk hits YouTube
- JWsurvey articles on shunning
@MyBirthRight. I want to add to Iamacountrygirl’s wonderful comment to you. Writing it down is such good advice especially. I will stay awake all night with thoughts swirling around in my head and if I get up and write them down, I can stop thinking about it.
I think if all of us who feel “trapped” in the religion sent in a letter of disassociation, that the Society would crumble. I think it is the bravest thing a person can do. I would do it too, if it wasn’t for the fact that 2 of my grown children would follow the orders of the Society and not have anything to do with me. You are smart to do it while your son is young.
Last year after I was 100% convinced the Organization is a lying, thieving and dangerous cult, I stopped going to the meetings cold turkey and I will never step foot in a Kingdom Hall again for anything and that even goes for a funeral. To me, it’s like walking into a church run by Satan the Devil himself with a big picture of Satan on the door. It is that evil to me now.
My husband sounds a lot like your husband except my husband was a 3rd generation born-in. He refuses to believe me that if I confronted the elders with only scriptures that show that the Society is a bunch of liars as far as what the Bible really says, that they would disfellowship me for that but I think the elders are afraid to confront me but I wished they would and I’d only use scriptures and see what would happen but they are afraid I know more about the Bible than they do so they won’t do it for that reason. I have told my husband that but he refuses to believe me.
I am convinced that if I started telling others in the congregation where the Society is lying about what the Bible “really” says, then they would disfellowship me for apostasy. One of the elders as much as told me that outright but like he said “it would be disciplining me in love”.
Imagine that. They’d disfellowship me for apostasy for showing scriptures to them from the Bible but I know that is what they would do to me because it’s showing the Society to be misrepresenting what the Bible really says and it would show the “truth” to be not the “truth” after all and the Society can’t have that. That is why the Society would actually prefer you to send in your letter so that they could shut you up for good so you can’t influence anybody else into leaving also.
If you haven’t sent in your letter yet and your relatives think it’s worse to disassociate yourself, try doing that and see what happens. Show them that it’s only the Society who has come up with the fictional date of 607 B.C.E. where Jerusalem was destroyed and see how far it gets you. If you can show your relatives and friends that Michael is only Michael and not Jesus, show them that and see how far it gets you. If you are still in and they still talk to you, show them of these things and see how far it gets you. They will probably start shunning you as an “apostate”. If that is what they think is better, then show them just how evil and corrupt the Society is and let them show themselves as being on the side of the Devil, rather than the God of the Bible. Then your husband may see that what he is involved in, isn’t Christian, but Satanic.
It is just a thought if you haven’t sent in your letter yet but like I said, if it wasn’t for losing 2 of my children who are grown, I would send in my letter too and feel a real sense of relief over it. I can’t really talk to anybody anyway because I don’t go to meetings and they are scared to talk to me now.
Ok. I’m a disfellowshipped Jehovah’s Witness as well. I felt that I was pressured into it at a young age, and actually believed that I was doing the right thing. However, you saying that they are complete liars, I find a bit interesting. You saying that stepping in a Kingdom Hall would be like stepping into a church run by Satan the Devil, just shows that you believe at least some of the major concepts of what they preach anyways. (You have a belief in Satan, which is a JW belief, and if you get it from a different religion, it’s still the same belief as Jehovah’s Witnesses, which you just said teach only lies). I believe that a lot of what they teach, is miss interpretated and goes against basic human values. However, you saying that you suddenly discovered these tremendous lies, after years I presume of studying with them, just shows that you accepted the whole religion, then and only then woke up shocked one day? Please tell me this huge lie that they teach, or all of them. It sounds like you’re saying that everything they teach is wrong. When about 80% of it falls within any other religious context, Christian or not. So please, show me your Epiphany. I think most people have posted a more reasonable answer, did they just change their religious views. You sound like you’re villainizing the whole religion, based on what? No disrespect, but it sounds like you have personal emotional and possibly mental issues.
@Clay, I thought it was the “truth” for fifty years but once I started researching the real history and not the made up history of the Society, I realized all the lies about the history. That is just the start.
The Society is lying about 607 B.C.E. They are lying about the Bible teaching that the earth is going to be turned into a paradise because there is not even one scripture in the Bible that says that.
They take scriptures out of context.
They are lying about Jesus being the mediator for only the 144,000 because there is not even one scripture that supports that doctrine.
They are lying that Jesus died on a stake when the Bible clearly shows cross because Thomas asked Jesus to show him the nail holes in his “hand”.
They are lying about the Bible saying that it is a command to go from door to door as supported in the Bible and that isn’t true.
They are lying about having a Governing Body in Jerusalem in the first century.
They lie when they misquote reference material by leaving out key words.
They lie about the authority they supposedly got from Jesus in 1919.
I am not saying that “everything” the Society teaches is wrong. What they do is take the Bible and use what they want to use to prove a point and what doesn’t fit with the doctrines of Jehovah’s Witness, they “explain” it away by many slippery explanations that only “they” can understand because supposedly they are getting some special insights from God that we “lay” people can’t get because they are “anointed” with holy spirit but they don’t claim to be anointed with holy spirit but just are “spirit anointed” which is just double talk.
I can’t stand being lied to. If they lie about even one thing, it means that they are liars. It’s as simple as that.
What you should do is get a copy of “Crisis of Conscience” by Ray Franz. It will open your eyes.
I should have said that Thomas asked Jesus to show him the holes in his “hands” and not hand above.
@IamaCountryGirl and anonymous
Thank you for your kind words! The letter is sent in now. My son is a teenager so no one can force him to the meetings that we haven’t been attending. I never got anyone on the crisis line that day since my son came home early during the routing of the call and it’s long routing menu but I knew I needed to talk to someone to help me vent without him seeing me so upset about it, to keep from just flat out expressing my concerns to relatives in a way that might have made Richard Pryor blush since I was so angry that my loved ones are still in, but that would not be useful in helping them to wake up. The mention I made to depression/attempts was in my adolescence/teen years when I lived at home but I later got counseling thanks to my school. No, there is no reason to be depressed now, even though it is sad it’s more infuriating that this organization is not sanctioned for it’s crimes against people. I will never give this organization any more control! I have my life and kid to raise and have assured my son that I will always be here for him no matter what. I feel better than ever by walking away, but I’d be lying to say it isn’t crushing to see how relatives are programmed to treat you so I wanted to talk to someone to vent how appalled I am, so I can be strengthened to do even more to help advocate against this organization.
I suppose a good thing is my husband has never said anything against me leaving the organization even once, my relatives have but he hasn’t. It’s only when I have appeared to him to ridicule his choice to stay so I am trying not to come off that way. Late last night I said to him “You have always a very skeptical person so I know I can approach you on this matter, and that seems to have him more receptive because I am appealing to apart of his own personality, I appealed to this and the fact that there are many things he doesn’t agree with the organization about issue. He just has no idea how people will act, He said last night after our talk and this morning that he thinks for himself so if anyone treats me that way he will know it’s wrong, but he just wants to feel like I’m not trying to persuade him at this point, since he always like to reach his own conclusions anyway before becoming a witness, he was very show and prove. I showed him the most hated family in america video on youtube last night thanks to Cedars blog, he was enthralled and said he heard about it on NPR and wants to see the mormon one today. I know it will take a lil time with him, but I am confident he will wake up, even if it means the worse to get it to happen. I’m not as hopeful for my mother who is in a strict sibling household. I am glad that he supports my decision to leave. I was hurt though by his comments on if his fears if he should leave, as he still thinks he needs this organization to be a good person, with all the literature putting out the stories on “How my life was changed etc” Last night and this morning he said that’s not how he meant it but this is how some feel that they cannot possibly be the best person they can if they leave. So for now, I am glad that he never pressures me to change my mind. That may be in part because he has heard of the hellacious life my mom, I and siblings endured the years she was married, and all I endured to get baptized to have my witness family on a closer level.
It may be the fact that he sees that my son & I are at peace once we left the hall so it brings my husband’s life more peace since no more scolds from the elders about how he isn’t listening to counsel by “letting” me make many of the decisions in the family you know treating me as an equal and all, or the hell we endured standing up for our son, so yeah, he doesn’t miss any of that.
Yes, for me the nest thing was to walk away no matter who was still in, because I in no way want to have my name attached to something so evil as this organization or teach my son that it;s okay to stay. I understand for elder that are helping bring the information on the organization to the fore, but I refuse to give Watchtower the power to make me feel compelled to stay a minute longer. I can’t wait to hear the sound of my name being read off, and have thought of being present so I can stand up and declare by disassociation, by choice in case they ask my husband not to divulge it to the congregation that I joyfully and willfully walked away
@anonymous I’m sorry to hear that your dear children are being used as emotional leverage. You have support like we have found here on Cedar’s blog and I think soon you shall have even more support, as this organization is exposed more and more.
You are right, the congregation is already conditioned to view as apostate any who bring up the points you are trying to make. Be strong! I believe what you say the elder told you, and as you and I know it is far from loving discipline, and they are not your father or mother as if you were a child, you’re not in a court of law or being put out of a job so why the word discipline? To substitute for the word abuse. I saw my husband get looks when he’d say show me where you see that in the bible once on an “encouraging visit” The control is unreal, they will show up to your house when you just change congregations if they don’t know of a suitable good reason like because you changed jobs or new neighborhood sometimes they will cunningly phrase things in the introductions letters that the person is not allowed to read by the way.
I hope your children will break away. I hope that my leaving will embolden others who have doubts to take a stand, and even by you no longer attending may be helping your beloved children to slowly wake up.
MyBirthRight, Thank you for your thoughts and I hope some day too that my 2 other children will “wake” up. I am thinking if more and more is brought out about how the Society covers over child abusers, that maybe then, more and more will realize what a horrible religion it is and come out.
I really wished I could do what you are doing and you are right, my children are being used as emotional leverage.
I actually think the Society might be afraid too many of us will disassociate ourselves which would hurt the numbers but on the other hand, they need to keep us quiet too, so maybe the preferred way of getting rid of us is to disfellowship us for apostasy. It’s hard to know. I know for sure they sure don’t want us blabbing to anybody about anything that isn’t favorable to the Society and will do anything they can to shut our mouths.
But the important thing for the Society is that any of us who have figured out the scam is to keep us quiet with shunning. I really hate the idea though that I still have my name attached to that lying, corrupt organization.
I am so happy for you that you are able to take the stand that I wished I could do.
We need to disfellowship them, not the other way around. They don’t deserve our support in any way.
From your posts, I can see that you will be okay and I really think that your husband will see the light. It seems that you are able to reason with him and that’s a good sign.
Really, I think people are so much better being a good person, without the Watchtower. Why would a good person need the rules of the Watchtower to be a good person? I would think it’s like being on probation your whole life, like being in some kind of a prison, only free to roam about but with an ankle bracelet on your leg.
Why wouldn’t a person be able to show that they are a good person, without all those rules and regulations that the Society sets up over it’s followers? They don’t give those people much credit or they give themselves way too much credit.
@Anonymous I really sympathize with your circumstances. I’m glad I took this stand too. I am however going to take all the precautions like advised by@ IamaCountryGirl, because it really is a process in coping with shunning, so while I’m angry and heartbroken at the thought of losing close family now, I want to be as emotionally prepared given the emotional damages I already bear from childhood and experience with this organization. I’m fortunate to have my son to fight for as long as I have breath in me, that gives me the strength when it’s hardest, but I can honestly say that while I can claim I’m coping now this experience could’ve led to the very worse in my case if I didn’t have him because losing the ability to talk to my precious mother whom I love to the moon and back, devastates me in ways I can’t measure and know I haven’t felt the full import of yet. Though I would still choose walking away. So yes, IamaCountryGirl gave great advice and I appreciate the two of you showing concern as the effect of losing family is not to be taken lightly! No matter how much one loves a spouse, it will never be the same as losing a tie with a parent or child, not in my opinion. This all the more so gives me resolve, to push pass my fear, tears and anger to set the example of courage to walk away. Why should people harm themselves, experience years of alienation, or die in old age without loved ones because of this cult?! It is a crime, if it wore any other cloak but Watchtower my family would see it as such, just like other cults when it comes to themselves it is harder to see. I know the Watchtower organization has even more dark plans up it’s sleeves yet. They are getting bolder and bolder each time the members accept a lil bit more crap, they know they can go even further next time.
Even if I didn’t have anything left to lose, this time I would not go down without all my fight left or what they did to me, my family, and what they are doing to my fellowman all over the globe. This cult is committing a crime flat out, no other way to say it! Emotional concentration camps, breaking and entering in personal affairs/families, emotional theft, child endangerment, perjury and so much else.
It’s a lie that Witnesses don’t go to war. Each day they are enslaved to this cult is another day on the battlefield. The spoils are freedom from it’s mind control and the effects thereof, and the chance to help other’s escape it’s indoctrination.
@MyBirthRight
My heart goes out to you for the pain you are going through right now. Your story is powerful and painful to read. So many of us here on this site empathise with you in regards to the pain and suffering that WT inflicts on those who do not want to be part of “The Lie”. There is no genuineness or true love in this Organisation.
You have shown though what a truly genuine worthy person you are to have the courage to take this stand because you cannot bear to live a lie.
The “sin” you have committed is to not want to be part of The Org. This in their eyes is worse than any “wrongdoing.”
Although I was disfellowshipped, mine was a JC that didn’t go according to plan for the Elders. I was told before I went in that all I needed to do was to say what they wanted to hear and nothing would happen to me. Instead I saw a chink of light in my WT prison cell, and so I said the opposite to what they expected, including how miserable and unhappy being a JW made me. I knew they would put me out, as my saying that was the worst thing I could have owned up to.
I am still unsure to this day exactly what they told the congregation I was disfellowshipped for, but I am certain that they failed to mention that I didn’t want to be a JW and instead they painted my character black.
There are those who have committed really terrible sins (such as child abuse etc) but if they say the right buzz words, including how they want to be part of The Org then their crimes are overlooked.
The pain from losing my family was extreme, but the relief and joy from being free from the controlling chains of WT was overwhelming and I found that a previously unhappy life was actually worth living after all.
Coincidentally I was told today by someone who knew me around the time I left The Org (a non-JW), that they were still haunted by the expression then in my eyes. She said it made her think of someone who had escaped from a disaster zone or a terrible accident. That of shock and trauma.
I can assure you that although the terrible pain of losing your family doesn’t leave, it does lessen.
I have often wondered how active JWs would react if confronted with a documentary that portrayed the callous way in which they behave, but without them knowing that it was JWs the programme was referring to. Would they be horrified, or have they been so blinded and indoctrinated that they are incapable of real feeling?
Hi Rosie. That programme already exists, it’s called “Meet the Mormons” produced by the BBC. Mormons also have shunning (while the young people are doing their preaching work for two years, if I remember correctly). I think JWs will be shocked and appalled; they just have a blind spot for their own religion. In their own case “it’s the loving thing to do”, “helping the person rebuild their relationship with God” etc.
MyBirthRite, I applaud you so much for what you are doing. Leaving like that is the hardest and bravest thing a person can do, especially when you are leaving family behind. For every person who is going through it and wants to and can’t, I have so much sympathy. I never had any idea what a terrible religion it was all the time I was associated. I knew it made me depressed each and every day but I didn’t know it was the religion that was doing that to me. Getting out is the best feeling in the world for curing depression. If I get disfellowshipped for apostasy, I will let everybody I know why I got disfellowshipped. I won’t go quietly either. Congratulations on your decision!! Pretty soon, there will probably more “out” than “in” and the “in” ones now will be the ones looking out and we will be “in” again, only on the opposite side and we can all be doing the “happy” dance. We can all circle the wagons too. We have the real truth on our side.
@Rosie Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging words! I really appreciate the support I have found here now more than ever! It’s a shame what you endured just for being a good person in showing honesty as a result of this lie, the WatchTower organization but I am so glad to hear you are now enjoying your freedom/right to be happy without living their lies.
Sometimes I questioned if the courage I’m being told I showed could also be called emotional martyrdom, because of the fact that contact may be cutoff from a person I love with more love than I could possibly ever measure, my mother. It saddens me to think of how many before us all here today endured this WatchTower crap til they or their loved ones died, but I’m filled with hope at the chance that others may soon have a chance for WatchTower to never cause it to happen to them given advocacy/activism, & push for more laws against these abuses
MyBirthRight
I know how terrible it is to be cut off from your mother. Knowing that I had caused her to hurt, cut me up inside. I tried to make it clear to her (and the rest of my family) that I wasn’t turning my back on them; it was the Organisation that I didn’t want to be part of.
On one occasion after a Convention my Mother stood at her front door, barring me from entering and told me that it had been stated at the convention that no contact at all was to be had with disfellowshipped family members.
I will not go into the painful conversation that ensued, but I continued to persevere with showing love to her. I cannot divulge too much, except to say that true love won and our relationship was restored.
So please never give up hope, just keep demonstrating to your loved ones that you love them unconditionally and that it is not them that you have walked away from.
@Rosie I tried posting a reply to your last comment day ago but I think what I wrote was too long so it didn’t show as posted. I just wanted to thank you for sharing that personal experience with me as I am so happy to hear that despite it being the most painful of experiences you probably ever had to face that your loving relationship was restored. That makes my heart soar that true love won out with your mother : )
I will never give up hope for my mother and will continue to stress to her that I am here for her as long as there is life in my body!!
It pains me deeper that she has since become very ill at the stress from this all, and I am truly worried for her life as a result. All because of Watchtower and it’s unmerciful teaching. There is no one on earth I could’ve sacrificed our relationship but how do I look at my child and rob him of rights by staying in this organization. Even if I could’ve faded because of her physical and emotional health with my active spouse I would not have been able to get away with it without my child suffering. This part of my heart will never mend until this wrong is made right, and WT is brought to it’s knees and forced to stop this emotional and psychological abuse.
I have tried to find forgiveness in my heart for Watchtower but there isn’t and there will not be. The organization should be held accountable for it’s beastly inhumane abuses against the human rights of others. They have for years carefully worded things in such a way so that their sick undue influence can be blamed on a Creator, or holy spirit or JW members,or anyone else they know the blame falls on beside themselves.
@IamaCountryGirl @anonymous You are right, writing is very enjoyable as well as therapeutic for me, has been since I was very young & had a natural talent for creative writing that was later turned into a scholarship opportunity in high school but former stepfather said no college. I also find music very therapeutic. I am employing my love of music/humor/film to help me express this Watchtower exit journey on a twitter I just set up for those feelings and advocacy last week, and I will direct all I can to Cedar’s blog and such.
I’m curious! What happens in this scenario? Someone is disfellowshipped for apostasy and is quite open about his differing beliefs. He dies (I know that Watchtower discourages going to the funeral – well, he’s been slain by Jehovah) and in his will he has left a lot money and property to his JW family and friends. Are they allowed to accept it?
It is tainted money, after all. Are they only allowed to take it as long as they give it to the Watchtower Society for use in the furthering of Jehovah’s work?
Charles, yes they should give it to the Watchtower so they can reinstate him post-mortem ;-)
No, just kidding, I don’t know. A JW’s response would be that they need to “do research about their [beliefs] to discover what [their] beliefs are.” Hahaha! (Taken from http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/witness-jurors-actions-branded-disgraceful-after-she-forces-mistrial-over-her-beliefs)
I have a feeling that they wouldn’t have a problem taking the money, Gareth. I (disfellowshipped) was having a conversation with one of my sisters (JW) and happened to tell her I had dreamt of winning the big one (Lotto), and if I did win it would she have a problem accepting some of that tainted money.
“Of course not!”, she replied with a laugh.
I said to her, “Isn’t that a bit hypocritical, since you believe that money from lotteries is won by luck, something you don’t believe in?”. She just shrugged and laughed again.
It seems to me that their beliefs change depending on what’s convenient.
I too wondered this myself before I mailed my letter of DA when it comes to life insurance policies because I didn’t want any of my policy funds intended for loved ones being donated to WT should anything happen to me. I think most people’s loved ones that are still JW will have no problems accepting or donating money left to them by family are no longer a part of the religion although they dare not share a meal or say a greeting. It’s sad/shameful really.
@ Charles C.
This is so off subject , but your last comment reminded me of something that bothers me. YOU used Jehovah’s name (which I think no matter what or where we are in all this we agree that’s Gods name) and it occurred to me during the Watchtower study last Sunday (3/15) that in almost every instance where Jehovah was referenced to, God was in print – not Jehovah! It made me think of prior teaching where in we explain that god has a name. So why doesn’t WTBTS use his name (Jehovah) each and every time they make reference to him ? Can that be a distancing tactic?
You could be right, da’. Maybe the Watchtower Society has been going to apostate sites like this one: http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/jehovah.php
The first step is using “God”, not “Jehovah”. The second could be changing it to “Yahweh”. We may be soon calling them “Yahweh’s Witnesses”.
Why would a fish or dear run back to it captures. Do like the Bible instructs. Dont look back. If more Jws were in to loving God they would not be so judgmental. Its a status symbol for those who cant go to school. Cant build wealth . or even think independently. Weak minded and repentfull people gravitate towards cults because they are in need of the mob or gang mentality. But all they do is look at what other people in the organization are or are not doing. Sad. My mom tried her best…not a good job. You can keep it .I dont need a group to approve my love for God. Thats what Jesus is for you bunch of fake. Masons. Look at your founder taze russel. Disturbing.