About JW Watch (formerly JW Survey)


It is my pleasure to give you a warm welcome to JWWatch.org. This website has been launched to give voice to millions of Jehovah’s Witnesses around the world who would not normally have the opportunity to say what they really think about the Watch Tower Society, or the teachings and practices of the Governing Body.

The Governing Body has yet to express any interest in hearing the views of ordinary witnesses. Their mantra is: “We talk, you listen!”

If you are a Jehovah’s Witness, or a former Witness, you will be aware that the opinions of rank and file publishers (and even elders) are rarely sought by the Society. The small number of men making up the Governing Body have declared themselves the “faithful and discreet slave” of Matthew 24:45, thus claiming sole control over the organization’s teachings and policies. These men are most certainly NOT interested in the opinions of the “silent majority” of Witnesses under their authority. If they are, they have a strange way of showing it!

This website historically sought to redress that balance by means of an annual survey that was conducted anonymously throughout the world. The first survey was taken in 2011, and immediately attracted the opinions of 1,118 voters before closing at the end of the year. The results were posted to the Governing Body for their attention and review but, predictably, they never replied.

The following year, 2012, the survey received votes from 1,488 current and former Witnesses, most of whom expressed their concern at various Watchtower teachings. The remarkable events of that year (the Candace Conti case and the “new light” about the faithful slave) certainly seemed to get people talking.

Subsequent surveys have allowed in excess of 6,000 per year to express their true feelings about the organization and its leadership, and we are optimistic this number will only increase as JWsurvey grows in popularity.

As we move into 2021, JW Survey has become JW Watch. The John Cedars YouTube Channel has become the Lloyd Evans Channel.

These changes represent where we are as a unified team, dedicated to accurate, non-sensational news about the activities of Jehovah’s Witnesses and their leadership. You will see content that represents investigative reporting, documentary, and occasionally opinions about the state of affairs of more than 8 million members of the Witness faith.

A website for all

This website has been created and made available as a free resource so that anyone, whether they are a former or current Witness, or in some way associated with Witness friends or relatives, can give their honest opinions about Watchtower and the increasingly cult-like direction in which it is headed.

We adopt a strictly non-religious viewpoint, meaning we refuse to promote any belief structure in particular. For this reason, we cannot be accused of trying to “draw off followers.” We are merely interested in garnering the views of ordinary Witnesses and reporting on the facts.

The Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses has not authorized or sponsored the survey, and it is run entirely without any influence or input from them. However, we genuinely feel that the brothers who serve on the Governing Body, having assumed such overwhelming responsibility, should take note of how ordinary Witnesses and the general public feel about their leadership, since millions of lives are affected by decisions they make at their private weekly meetings.

Who started this website?

My name is Lloyd Evans, and I am the founder of this website. I set it up in October 2011 with the help of a fellow activist while I was still one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, writing under the pseudonym “John Cedars.” Eventually, I left the organization for conscientious reasons. You can read my story on this link.

I first had the idea to begin gathering the opinions of Jehovah’s Witnesses and their associates around the world because of a variety of issues that continue to be of real concern to me. I believe that ordinary Witnesses who devote their entire lives to loyally serving Jehovah, through what purports to be God’s spirit-directed organization, should have some say in the decisions that are made on their behalf.

It is my belief that not all is well within the organization. I don’t consider many of the teachings and practices encouraged by the Governing Body to have been formulated with the best interests of ordinary Witnesses at heart.

An unmerciful practice

For example, take the practice of shunning or “disfellowshipping.” The Apostle Paul’s words to the Corinthian congregation were as follows:

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Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians about the disfellowshipping arrangement never called for family members to be torn apart

Clearly the Apostle Paul was delivering this admonition for the purpose of keeping the congregation clean. But to what extent should these words be applied? By saying “not even eating with such a man,” Paul indicated that his words weren’t directed against family members (who would daily eat with one another), but against other brothers in the congregation with whom one might consider sharing a meal.

There is no reason to insist that the word “anyone” should be applied arbitrarily to “everyone,” irrespective of age or circumstances. Even Watchtower publications acknowledge that there should be some exceptions where family members are concerned. For example, a disfellowshipped husband is not to be shunned by his wife or children, and parents are not banned from speaking to their disfellowshipped children if they are not yet old enough to leave home.

But why should it end there?

Many share my opinion that there is scope to extend even more mercy in applying this scripture than is currently encouraged by the teachings of the Governing Body. Jesus said the following to the unrighteous pharisees:

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Jesus identified mercy as playing a crucial role in the extent to which laws and principles should be enforced. Many do not think it is merciful that older teenagers, many of whom were baptized at an extremely young age (sometimes as young as 9), are forced out of their homes by their parents and then cruelly shunned, often for the rest of their lives, through a mistaken and abhorrent interpretation of the Apostle Paul’s advice.

The Society’s publications themselves warn that “no one should be forced to… choose between his beliefs and his family.” (July 2009 Awake!, p.9) However, they apply this reasoning to every religion but their own.

The scriptures clearly prescribe “shunning” purely as a measure for maintaining the spiritual cleanliness of the congregation, and not for the purpose of breaking up families. To go one step further and insist that shunning should also apply to families is both destructive and deeply unmerciful. It also violates the principle expressed by the Apostle Paul at 1 Timothy 5:8 where he said:

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These and other teachings of the Governing Body are increasingly becoming a cause of sincere distress for many Witnesses who wish that the organization could adopt a more merciful and loving stance. In particular, one can now be disfellowshipped as an “apostate” merely for disagreeing with the Governing Body over this or other issues.

Only human

It is my sincere desire that by means of this website, and its annual surveys, the Governing Body will humbly consider the pleas of both myself and like-minded ones around the world who long for the Watch Tower Society to be a more loving organization – one that truly reflects the need for respect and tolerance toward other people’s beliefs.

The members of the Governing Body are only human, and no matter how much they may pray for wisdom and insight, they cannot possibly be fully aware of how their teachings and directives are impacting the lives of their fellow worshippers on a daily basis. That is what makes this survey website so important. It serves as a constant reminder for them to show greater kindness and mercy in undertaking the role that they have assumed as the faithful and discreet slave.

I would like to thank you in advance for your support for this site, and for getting involved in our important work.

Warmest regards,


408 thoughts on “About JW Watch (formerly JW Survey)

  • May 5, 2016 at 11:03 am

    Not that any of.this will matter but I am 47 yrs old and was raped in the congregation when I was 14. The elders handled it on their own without the authorities intervention. I was publicly reproved for fornication and he went on to molest, sodimize and whatever else with 63 other witness children from Colorado to California. At that time I felt responsible for the other children when I heard because nothing was done to stop him. 22 years ago my abuser went to trial by us 64 victims and got 33 years jail time he was released after 10 years because of failure to a speedy trial!
    He is in a reinstated position to the congregation and no one knows what he is because of JW silence! I am glad JW’s are being held accountable for these crimes, however; they are blood guilty for other crimes! I stayed faithful to that organization mostly because of fear of losing my family, I endured torture by my ex pioneer husband beating me in the name of submission, and he was married to alchohol not me!
    Obviously sexual abuse, spousal abuse, children physical abuse and alcoholism are obbiously condoned by Jw’s. I let the JW’s torment me for 30 years and in the end when I got out with my life I lost my family, my friends and ect….
    Was it worth getting out? Yes I am SAFE now! A family who condones such practices and can let their loved one go does not deserve their loved on to begin with how very sad and the JW appology well they can’t forgive others for their shortcomings why should I forgive them! They actually did wrong doing and their words are empty! Thank You

    • September 29, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      Whats the name of this pedophile? I’ve seen your same post on multiple sights but you never reveal who this person is…why the secrecy if this is an active jw and abuser?

      • September 30, 2016 at 7:19 pm

        yes, Kimberley, the name please. You need to add some legitimacy to this.

      • November 30, 2016 at 12:42 pm

        No secrecy sorry it saddens me to think these people believe they are the true religion yet they condone such horrors! I now believe in karma Leonard Lucero will get his just dessert some day!

    • March 24, 2017 at 4:14 am

      Hi Kimberly

      This serious lack of love and concern is more rampant than any of us can imagine. I have a childhood friend whom I recently learned was gang raped and this wasn’t even communicated to her mother. Her father, a non-believer, was completely in the dark. I’m sick about it. Embarrassed I ever had faith in these liars. The branch knows too.

      You deserve better. You deserved a peaceful childhood. Loving leadership. Protection. I’m so sorry for you.

      • April 9, 2017 at 7:31 pm

        Hi I hope your friend recieved more love and understanding than myself. I consider myself a survivor from the situation. Unfortunately I am not a believer any longer the pain cured me from believing in JW’s at this time.
        Thank ​you for your kind words.

        • April 11, 2017 at 6:08 pm


          How does the branch know? Do they even care? I really would like to know because the branch never responded to me when I tried to enlighten them of my situation.

      • November 15, 2021 at 5:52 pm

        just wanted to urge you to go and check out this youtube channel called “living waters” they talk to some jehovah witnesses too

    • November 15, 2021 at 5:55 pm

      hey just wanted to exhort you to go and check out this youtube channel called “living waters” they talk to some jehovah witnesses too

  • May 16, 2016 at 1:20 am

    ever since i distanced myself from my mother and sisters who are jw my life and career has gone to shit- do or can they have this influence ??

    • May 21, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Only if you allow them to have power! Removing yourself was the best possible way to improve yourself! I had the same situation 5 years ago I have no family but I now have great success with my job! Release their hold on you and you will go far! Easier said than done but it will happen for you! Only a Cult has such a strong hold on your inner freedom to become the best you can be!

    • November 15, 2021 at 5:54 pm

      hello i just wanted to urge you to go and check out this youtube channel called “living waters” they talk to some jehovah witnesses too

  • June 2, 2016 at 9:08 am

    When is there going to be another survey? For 2016? I want to participate! I’ve been free for over a year now :)

  • July 6, 2016 at 12:34 am

    You have to many rules for what can be said in the comments , that’s not freedom of speech , any hiw I hate that masonic hell hall Everytime I was forced to go to that satanic cult I was beaten outside the front with a branch from their trees , it was like a sacrifice , I know i wasn’t the only child who was tortured either .

    • July 6, 2016 at 12:55 am

      Having rules for commenting does not impact your free speech. Your free speech would only be impacted if we stopped you from setting up your own website.

      • February 12, 2020 at 11:06 pm

        Hi. Lloyd. I wanted to know how to contact Tray the reporter from the witnesses oxygen 2 part documentary. I am a victim and would like to share my story.

    • July 6, 2016 at 1:07 am

      Hi Sherry

      I think the rules are quite reasonable. Try to be nice and dont talk about religion! lol! Well at least dont try to force your views on others, otherwise every discussion will turn into an argument as to whether God exists or not :D. Everyone has their own views here.
      Aside from that I agree with your coment, I remember very well kids screeming as their Dads beat them to a pulp! because they couldn’t sit still through two hours of absulute boring torture!! Terrible!

  • September 11, 2016 at 9:12 am

    I have great respect for all who seek the God of the Bible. With that being said, I am interested in hearing comments from faithful lovers of God who are truly trying to please him by being members of the WTB&T SOCIETY OF JEHOVAHS WITNESSES. My main question is, Why do you as a practicing member accept the gov body’s doctrinal teaching of the Bible, card blanch, not to be questioned, or double checked against the pure teaching of the whole Bible as the final word from God? Of course one wouldn’t want to doubt God in any way but how do you reason placing the WTB&TS as your go between you and God’s word? Aren’t we supposed to (1) have the Bible alone as the final and true word from God himself? (2) The final and absolute authority in all matters of christian faith and practice? (3) Hold any and all teaching to sound and honest scutiny. Why then, I reason, would anyone unquestionably trust any man, men, or religious organization as middleman between themself and God? If anything, aren’t we already told by Paul, the chosen apostle of Jesus himself, what God has to say to the world about himself and all topics regarding his will for mankind? Again, ones belief and his right to it I would defend with my life. Mainly because I want my right to freedom of belief protected under the law.

    • May 19, 2018 at 11:26 am

      Bravo, well said. I too have scratched my head over that very same reasoning. Since the scriptures declare that the majority of mankind will be deceived, being under the strong delusion why in the world would anyone want to take any man(s) word for anything regarding truth? The spirit will lead one into all truth not the GB. What happened to being a Berean, checking what man teachings against what the scriptures teach. What happened to discernment, or testing the spirits to see if they be of God? Richard, you hit the nail on the head big time.

    • February 22, 2020 at 9:43 am

      These are really good questions but personally I live by the bible and not all the advice the elders give me. I consider myself a jehovah’s witness because there are many people in my congregation that are more open minded that dont consider everything they say. The elders are imperfect people like us so we dont do everything they say. I find that alot of other congregations are very submissive but I disagree with that, some of these elders knowledge of the bible are definitely not greater than ours. I think the biggest flaw to us are the elders they try to enforce rules or control our lives without the bible my congregation has managed to escape that and we don’t have many problems .

  • September 18, 2016 at 11:39 am

    I have been away from JW for almost 45 years. Still have severe issues. I knew from an very early age something was wrong..I thought it was me. I didn’t believe in some of the teaching so I believe I would be destroyed at Armageddon. My mother became a JW when I was about 3 so I only knew the word of the Society…My childhood was taken away from me I was always scared and waiting for the end..know I would die a horrible death..I lived with that for almost 27 years. Like many, I was married to a JW at 18 he knew me since I was 14 he was an alcoholic and abused me..I allowed him to do this for 7 years..I was almost molested by a congragation servent, he started rubbing my sholders and I ran from him..I am not sure any of this is important today because I have living a good life now but being a JW took so much of me..I was so confussed and afraid..What does love mean to the organization? I could go on and on with stories of abuse with in my family but I don’t feel it would help this forum..I want to stay involved so forgive me if this comment is too personal. My writting skills are weak so I don’t want to ramble..Thank you for starting this site..

    • November 30, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      To this organization love is conditional you are a tool to be tossed aside at any given moment! You make one false move your done!

      • November 25, 2018 at 12:47 am

        Bringing my exhusbands abuse to the surface, got a file started about me in New York. I was told none of the documents that I had given the circuit overseer made it in that file. A file maligning me. I had to walk away from an organization that condones brutal men who choose to sexually abuse (to name just one facet of abuse) women and children. Forget the abuse of power by the elders who lead.

        • November 25, 2018 at 12:57 am

          Yes the “legal and service” committees apparently are for the service of legally protecting the organization.

        • December 2, 2018 at 7:02 am

          @Tricia, please don’t think that it is only women and children who are abused in this organization. When I complained to my brother, an elder, that the elders are a bunch of bullies, it lead me to being disfellowshipped. How dare I speak negatively about the ‘glorious ones’! In my court martial, even things I had said to elders 30 years ago were brought up. The elders seem to have a file where they record every little negative comment you make about the organization or the leadership, and that record stays in the file no matter what.

          As Jesus is the head of the organization, we can see this is actually an aspect of the love which permeates this organization, love which the holy spirit is producing as fruitage in each and every worshipping Jehovah’s Witness, love which saturates the elder bodies in the congregations and is evident in the care and compassion shown us by the leadership. Not.

    • January 12, 2021 at 1:12 am

      Please don’t question the worth of your words Linda, I can very much relate.
      Thank you for sharing what you did.

  • September 28, 2016 at 6:07 am

    Excellent material!!


  • October 8, 2016 at 8:34 pm

    Greetings Friends,

    Your posts are familiar to me. I had the misfortune of being born into the beliefs via my dad who was accosted by a “good friend.” My mother didn’t quite warm up to the religion’s ideals right away as they were not married into the organization but only began exploration after we came along. My older sister and I were not so involved until after my father informed my mother of her mandatory role as a subordinate in the marriage that she become involved and attend meetings.

    After years of instilling their fear-filled brainwashing tactics on my mother and sister, they both became bonafied baptized JW’s while I became the “black sheep” of shame.

    Honestly at a very young age, I didn’t buy a bit of it. Yes, I believed it was all a ploy to control people. I couldn’t stand being around them and at 16, I became so intolerable, they just gave up on me. So there I was, they couldn’t shun me because I was never baptized but I represented the outcast.

    My sister remains a JW to this day. My father is turning 90 and still an elder in his congregation leading his group in the ministry. Oddly, he came to me today to advise me that I “better wake up” and handed me a “new” bible…rewritten in “simple English” so that everyone could understand. Since when did everyone get so dumb? I resigned it the belief that once again, they have had to change a few things in their doctrine to cover up errors and make prophecy right, again.

    I remember things taught as a youngster and if I mentioned some of the unmentionables now, (1975 great tribulation date) he just denies it. But I was there, 15 years old and I know what I heard.

    I’ve run into and talked to many ex JW’s I’ve known and can honestly say they seem more at ease now then when I knew them back then. Life gets better when you explore different options and see that people are not all bad. :)

  • October 12, 2016 at 10:42 pm


  • November 6, 2016 at 1:28 am

    First off
    It is not for us to know the day of jehovah.
    Jw’s taught that..AND
    1975 was only the year adam turned 6.000 years old..
    I started that year off by fornicating so i was not worried much about it coming that year.
    That was not what jw’s taught to ME.

    Grandpa was born 1903. I AM 60 NOW
    I am definatly part of his generation. So is my oldest son. He is 40
    We are family.
    We know each other.
    It is not the day of jehovah because we cant say when.
    Im df”d again..
    I repented and confessed and they kicked me in the head and annouced that I am ” no longer one of Jehovah”s.
    What a blow from Satan.
    Those who encouraged me to sin are happy about my bad news.
    What happens when the prodigal son comes home and dad is away on a trip?
    Some ‘so called brothers’ ane sadistic unforgiving brothers of the prodigal son.
    They have chased him away..
    Sold him to saten.
    Presented a bloody garment to dad…

    (Truth has vanished,
    And anyone who turns away from bad is plundered. Isa 59:15)
    Always make our words tender and sweet. Cause we never know which ones we may have to eat.
    I hope to live and love forever in our Fathers garden with you all.

    • November 6, 2016 at 2:17 am

      Your grandpa was of a different generation from you; his child, your parent. was of yet another generation. Your son’s generation is yet another. From your grandpa to your son you get four generations.

      Either the word ‘generation’ has a meaning or it does not.

  • January 12, 2017 at 11:47 am

    so what do you promote? should the majority rule on what God believes? should we follow our own ideas? is that not why there are so many different Christian beliefs in the world?because everyone whats there idea of the bible to be the true religion. I was raised one left at 18 did my thing in the world, got married cheated on her, gambled, drank you name it I did it. she left me with a 2 year old needed a change In life started studying the bible on my own. researched all kinds of religion and beliefs started talking to them about their beliefs and contradictions within their beliefs and the bible everyone of them threw me out. started studying with Jw’s that was my last choice. now I am one. wife came back saw changes in me, she hates that I am a Jw, became inactive for 5 years you would thing wife would be happy was not, was turning back to old me, in 2005 she herself took me back to the kingdom hall. been going since. have 4 kids 2 older ones do not care, younger daughter is gay, younger son is a pioneer, goes to college, works lives at home. all good kids, who am I to judge, but any bible clearly states what will happen. stating a fact is not judging. it was stated to me. which I hold dear. If at the end of the day, Jehovah’s witnesses are wrong, what better life could I ask for? I am still married to the same women 27 yrs, i have good kids with their own beliefs, god will judge, I do not cheat, swear, gamble and so fourth, so what if i want to tell people what I believe to be true or feel I am required to.
    this is getting kind of long so you can email me at. (Staff edit – no public email addresses on the forum)

    • January 12, 2017 at 2:10 pm

      so Mike, you were raised a JW, left and made a life for yourself in the world and came back and evidently your wife is also a JW now, even though she hated it when you first went back?

      Do you feel you would not be a good person if it wasn’t for the JW religion? Why did you leave in the first place if you thought it was such a great life?

      Were you ever baptized and if so when? Was it when you were a child? Did you ever get disfellowshipped when you were drinking and carousing around like you did?

      Why would those other religions kick you out just because you questioned the contradictions in the Bible and what were the contradictions you found in the Bible and why don’t those contradictions bother you now?

      You ask: What better life could you ask for?

      I thought it was the best life too when I was a believer for 50 years but I was always scared that I would need a blood transfusion to live at some time and I was afraid that one of my kids might die if they needed a blood transfusion and all during those 50 years, I always was in fear of that happening to me or one of my kids. I lived in fear.

      What I didn’t know was that if you question any of the elders about a teaching of the JW religion, you will be called before a committee for apostasy. I didn’t know that was happening in the Organization until it happened to me and when I did that, my congregation sent all the elders over to my house so they could hear it out of my own mouth that I was questioning whether or not the Watchtower was in deed, God’s one and only true organization on earth and I said no.

      That is when the love evaporated from my congregation when they gave a marking talk on me and there is only one sister that will stop over to see me but I am barred from talking to her about the Bible or the Organization and if I did that and she reported it back to the elders, I will be disfellowshipped for apostasy. You are banned from watching anything that is critical of Watchtower. You are banned from reading anything critical of Watchtower as well. If you watch a show about evolution and you see that it makes sense, and you tell anybody about it in the congregation, you will also be hauled before the elders and threatened with being disfellowshipped if you tell anybody about what you saw and that even includes people in your own family. You will be considered bad association. Your wife would even be told she can divorce you if you tell her anything “apostate”.

      Do you still think this is the best way of life?

      Do you think it’s the best way of life if you are not allowed to even question whether or not the Governing Body has the qualifications to be our mediator between Jesus and Jehovah, which they claim to be? You realize of course that you do not have a mediator between Jesus and Jehovah because the Governing Body claim to be your mediator. How can you even pray to Jehovah?

      Your story seems contrived. Sorry but that’s my take on your comment because it doesn’t make any sense to me that if you are so happy with being a JW, why are you here on an “apostate” website?

      By the way, are you an elder? If you are not an elder, then why aren’t you an elder? Maybe because you have a gay kid and one of your kids goes to college? Oh, by the way, how can your kid go to college, have a job and pioneer and live at home? Why does your pioneer college kid who has a job have to live at home? Please explain. Could that kid get married and live on his own and take care of a wife?

      You said if the JW’s are wrong, what better life could you ask for? Really??? If they are wrong???? Why would you want to stick with them if they are wrong? Can you prove that they are right about everything you preach? How can you, with good conscience, preach something that you don’t even know is correct or not?

      Even the Governing Body claim they make mistakes in doctrine in the February 2017 study Watchtower. They say they are spirit directed but not inspired. What is the difference? If they are spirit directed, then why do they make doctrinal mistakes? Are they not listening to the spirit and going it their own way? If so, then they could not have God’s Holy Spirit.

      If you are an elder, it makes even less sense that you would be on an apostate website, commenting.

      • April 15, 2017 at 1:21 pm

        It is concidered appostacy because organized religion wants to keep you dumbed down! Education means you might have thoughts, JW’s don’t want you thinking for yourself they lose power when you are educated! Almost 6 years I’ve been out and the clarity I have is a gift! If people actually educated themselves on JW’s before being trapped by baptism and under their spell so to speak they’d run! Children are the true trapped victims they didn’t get a choice.

    • January 12, 2017 at 2:31 pm

      @Mike. Mike, glad you are happy and family is doing well. However, With all due respect I have to comment on your thoughts about religion and study with different religions and all the contradictions they make and do. In all honesty you as a JW would know there is n religion that contradicts itself or changes their teachings more often then the JW’s. I could name a list 100 lines strong but will just mention a few right here. Vaccines, blood transfusions, Organ transplants,Jehovah has his own planet, Jesus has no beard,Pyramids, King of the North,Hitler, Mussolini ( was the anti Christ ) few months till Armageddon in WW2,Oral Sex, Animal Sex, Homosexuality,
      scriptural divorce, Shunning, Sacred service,607 BCE, 1914, 2nd coming of Jesus, Generation, overlapping generation, anointed ones, given ones,11918,1919, last days, 1854, 1874, F&D Slave, Governing body, Jonadab class, types and anti types, shunning of family members, no tithing, no forced $$ giving, These are just a few Mike that come to mind but all you have to do is go to JW facts and you will see hundreds maybe 1000’s of changing doctrine over the years and you are not allowed to challenge them or question them or you will be df’d. You must know this mike so JW’s are no different and are even WAY WORSE than other religions who do this but 99% of other religions allow you to think or rad the bible on your own. Glad things seem to work out for your family. One thing for sure Mike is whatever WT teaches today is subject to change tomorrow and you MUST accept it or you will be shunned or even DF’d.

    • December 24, 2018 at 12:58 am

      Mike. I understand what you are saying but there are plenty of NON JW”S that live a Christian life that they are very happy and fulfilled with. I would say actually from my own experience as a JW for over 22 years before I woke up there are more happy non JW Christians than there are happy JW’s. I Was an elder for years and I saw So Many unhappy JW’s and in my opinion 90% of it has to do with the tremendous pressure the WT puts on JW’s and the sense less amount of rules and control they try to put on everyone. I mean you cant hardly make a personal decision without somebody running to the elders and saying something stupid about your hair, clothing, Schooling, drinking, food, time in Field service, some x comment you made, a movie you watched etc. It is like BIG BROTHER is out to get you so you BETTER walk the line. But like you said whom am I to judge. but lot’s of unhappiness in the Organization and so many leaving. It did not need to be like that but WT and GB are control freaks and afraid you might make your own decision or actually start thinking on your own. Sad.

  • January 12, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    Mike – It is not a case of ‘if’ the JWs are wrong. They are wrong. They always have been wrong.

    Armageddon did not occur in 1914, 1925 or 1975 or before the death of the 1914 generation of JWs.

    You could be leading a much better life than stuck in an organisation which frowns on higher education, which protects paedophiles, which is responsible for the needless deaths of thousands through their murderous blood transfusion edicts.

    JWs suffer social isolation through the ban on innocent pleasures like celebrating Christmas and birthdays. Unless they have loads of money and fame like Prince and the Williams sisters, they are strongly discouraged from following any ‘worldly’ pursuit. Many also suffer Armageddon nightmares about this predicted horror that never transpires.

    I sincerely hope that through reading this site and others like http://www.JWfacts.com, you come to realise that your life is worth more than to be an unpaid magazine distributor for a corrupt global publishing and property corporation.

    Best wishes – and here’s to your release!

  • January 19, 2017 at 2:34 am

    I find this thread absolutely fascinating. I myself was more or less almost an atheist right up until mid last year when a Witness stopped off at my door and we got talking. It occurred to me at the end of the conversation that she was, indeed a Jehovah’s Witness but because I was off work at the time, and our conversations about religion did not get into any heated arguments, I found it interesting to be able to discuss religion with someone and not have them tell me I was wrong.

    So I did start bible studies, still very much of the mind that none of it was going to change my mind. BTW, I am 32 and have always had a very negative view of religion. But doing the Bible study with the JW who comes around our conversations are thoroughly interesting, and we’ll often discuss other religions and things. And I am not shy about criticisms towards the Bible, the things I’ve read about Jehovah’s Witnesses and so on. They know that I am questioning many things and I am grateful that they respect that. But look at this way, if it weren’t for the NWT and the JW who gave me a copy of it I would not be able to even read the Bible let alone understand it so it’s been a good thing for me to look into God’s word. But I have the King James Version on hand as well to compare the two. I rely on logic and facts which was why I was always agnostic. ‘Yeah but where’s the proof??’ What I’ve read so far seems to make sense and does not really contradict my beliefs. In fact, it’s made me realise that the more we know about the world the less we actually know about the world. I am looking at my Bible study as simply that – educating myself in the Bible and from there, other religions and how they fit into the world. It’s an academic study rather than a spiritual study, if that makes sense.

    I am certainly not ignoring anything that anyone has said about shunning or the levels of abuse that go on. But I’ve noticed that everyone who has a problem with it seems to live in the US, where it obviously started. I live in Australia and so far, my experiences with all Jehovah’s Witnesses that I have come across have been positive. Like I said, I have questioned many things within the Bible and JW in general and they have always answered my questions. The shunning does not appear to be as big here as it does over there. It seems that they have taken the apostle Paul’s words to mean the congregation, rather than everyone.

    My final thought? I am still enjoying what I’m reading and will continue to do so. But I will not stop questioning things nor will I accept them blindly. But it’s been the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ perspective of the Bible that has made me take an interest. I seem to be of the same opinion as Ceders above, and like so many JWs, it seems like they have all joined for similar reasons as to why I am interested in the views. It’s only when you get governing bodies like The Watchtower involved in so many of the teachings that it becomes skewed.

    Besides, in accordance with the Bible, didn’t God give us free will to do as we please in whether we chose to love Him or not to love Him? So why should The Watchtower hold so much sway over its parishioners?

    Thank you for reading and I do hope everything I’ve written is within the guidelines of this thread.

    • January 19, 2017 at 3:44 am

      @Samatha, I also was not interested in the Bible until I got involved with Jehovah’s Witnesses in the early 1960’s.

      Go to jwfacts which you can click on, right on this web site and read it and be brave enough to bring up all the things that that site says about the Witness religion and the true facts of our religion and be brave enough to bring up the things that you find out that are really the real “truth” about the “truth” to your Bible study conductor and see what she/they say about those “facts”. Go to that website while they are at your house and see the shock and horror on their faces.

      The one/ones studying with you are ignorant of their own religion’s history and background.

      They are victims of that religion and don’t even know it.

      If you confront your Bible study conductor/conductors with those “facts”, they will be shocked to find out what you have found out. They are banned from even looking at anything that might be found out to be bad about that religion.

      If they went to that website right now and told anybody about what they have found out about that religion, they will be disfellowshipped for apostasy.

      Do you want to get involved in a religion that you are barred from researching it’s true history and worse yet, get disfellowshipped for telling anybody about what you found out?

      Do that and see how fast your Bible study conductor stops coming to you to discuss the Bible.

    • January 19, 2017 at 4:36 am

      Hi Samantha, welcome to this site. As an interested one you may not understand much about why so much effort is put into the articles on this site. For many of us, whether brought up as a Witness (as I am) or like you we came in of our own desire, we found the witnesses at first quite wonderful. However, as time goes by and we see the dark side (for me it was the public humiliation of being stood down and disciplined (an announcement made to the congregation to that effect) only to find that on appeal the elders involved had made a horrible mistake, which they apologized to me for, but privately, not publicly. Nothing can be compared to the depths of depression when you are wrongly charged, and when it is due to elder bias, even more so).

      As a new interest you won’t see that. You won’t experience that. Only later do these things occur. And they may not occur to you. But please be aware there are many defects in our congregations, and if you are not careful you will not believe how your life can be ruined.

      On this site we complain about all this silliness, because it is silly to have situations that can ruin people’s lives and yet not try to fix the situation up, just blame it on human imperfection. We’re an imperfect organization so we aren’t going to fix anything up.

      I also attend meetings in Australia, and believe me shunning here is carried out just the same as in the USA. I am being shunned by some of my cousins because they don’t like the topics I talk about, which are normally about some of the silly situations and beliefs I observe.

      Maybe what I should say is enjoy your study and what you are learning. It pleased our hearts too many years ago. But be aware that there are valid reasons for people to be upset about things in the organization. And that once you are a member, it is almost impossible to leave this religion without being shunned.

    • February 23, 2017 at 4:39 am

      Also, I was thinking, that before we take medication which may greatly affect our health, we best do research to find out side effects besides the good effects.

      What more for our religion. Look at the trail of misery that this organization leaves behind it. Look at the lives ruined. Don’t just look at the good things. Be aware that you may become a victim just like us. If you are willing to take the risk, at least you have done the research.

      All the best.

      • February 23, 2017 at 11:51 am

        Hi Samantha…..I’m going to go against the grain here and tell you that the only way to find out who and what you truly are is to be religion free. The only person you have to deal with is yourself. Your conscience is your guide and you answer to no one. When faced with a difficult decision, try asking yourself what Jesus would do, but substitute Jesus for ‘my conscience’. Same thing same result every time. No guilt. No fear. No ‘am I worthy’ or ‘have I done enough’. If you live your life having been a good person, no matter what lies at the end you will have no worries. It’s most definitely not about ‘time served’.

        Having said that, it’s your choice. Some people just have a need to believe and if no harm is done, it’s ok, but you MUST listen to people on this site. To identify as a JW is lending support to a corrupt and immoral organisation.

        and….you’ll never see the headline ‘Atheists shell Agnostics from the West Bank’.

    • July 18, 2017 at 8:50 am

      Samantha, apart from it’s mind control techniques, the Watchtower Organisation has clearly stated in the Watchtower Tower book called Worldwide Security 1986 Chapter 1 Paragraph 16, that “Jesus is NOT the mediator between God and mankind”!!!!. This is in absolute opposition to the teaching of Christ. They say that Jesus is mediator ONLY between the remnant and God, and that the Governing body (7-12 men) are the representatives of that remnant. They have set up the same system as previous religions in that effectively, you (a person not of the remnant) must do what the Governing Body says or you will have no standing with God. They are an apostate religion and regardless of what they say (with many flowery words) are bordering on Anti Christ.

    • October 4, 2017 at 7:23 am

      I was born in Romania,i live in Canada and I could tell you the things are the same everywhere.Im an xJW,and im so happy since then.The people that rest Inside WTorg. went from bad to worst.They wasted their lives,and lived an empty and false life.Don’t waste your time,your life,it is only one.Look positiely ahead,be activ,make sports,be social,do study and the happiness will catch you.

  • February 21, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    I was born in London, England, not long after WW2 ended. My Mother had lost her leg and nearly died, when a V2 Rocket blew her whole street up at nighttime, right near the end of the war. She was in a Coma for 3 months and when she came round, her leg was amputated and she was informed that her Mother and young niece had died.

    She eventually got fitted with an artificial leg and after the war met my Dad as he was also disabled, having some of his arm blown off in the Desert fighting the Germans. So they got married and had me in 1947 and later my Brother in 1949 and finally my Sister in 1951.

    We were a happy little family, my Dad had his own car and his own house and even bought a TV when most people had very little. My Dad had become a Salesman and was very good at it…..then one day 2 JW Ladies called on Dad and answered why there is so much evil in this World.

    Withing 6 months, our lives were turned upside down and my Dad became a Zealous Missionary type and he gave up Smoking, Gambling, Football every week and so on. He then told us (Kids) that we are now Jehovah’s Witnesses and we are never going to die.

    Wow, what a statement and we all believed that Armageddon would soon be here. Gradually my Dad got restless and decided to move across the Country and that is when our Misery really began.

    Later I married my dear wife Christine and had 2 daughters and served as an Elder for many years….got out of the Cult in 2001 and became a Born Again Christian in 2002 and have served as Missionaries for the Lord Yeshua (Jesus) since 2007. Bless you all….David

    • February 22, 2017 at 2:31 am

      What a fantastic experience! What a contrast! Wow, that must be interesting comparing the two.

      Can I ask you some questions?

      1) I have noticed that our organization (the JW’s) put most importance on submission to those above (elders, GB). The elders I have experienced are usually great bullies. That may have been something you noticed while you were a JW. In your new religion, is there the same amount of bullying from the leaders?

      2) I have noticed in recent times that congregations have become very political. If you want to progress to be an MS or elder you have to kiss the bottoms in the correct manner. Is this the same in your new religion?

      3) There is a growing group of ex-JW’s who really hate the Witnesses (to a large extent I can understand). Is this the same for ex-members of your present religion?

      4) Does your new religion make reference to Jehovah?

      I appreciate your efforts to answer these questions.

  • February 21, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    So much misery, guilt and fear shadowed our lives whilst in that Cult, however we feel really sorry for the ‘rank & file’ members, as they do not know their Saviour and are working for an Organisation that actually keeps them away from Jesus, who said himself that he was the TRUTH, the WAY and the LIFE, not any man made religion and leaders who promote themselves to something they should not. They even sin against the Holy Spirit, as they claim that they alone are the spirit directed organisation and baptize their members into that…what blasphemy.

  • March 28, 2017 at 11:40 am

    Hello John,
    My name us Hector I live in the United States I am an xJW. I just watched a video on the JW website that was a bit confusing it was JW.org official responce to the Russian ban. What is your take on it?

  • October 6, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Well it’s been a while since I’ve been on this site. I was just diagnosed with breast cancer fitting I guess in October ha. My mom said you reap what you sow. Well I wouldn’t wish this on anyone and the thing is I will beat this! It’s hard to stay positive when witnesses say things like this to guilt you into so called submission! Why would anyone in their tight mind want to go back to that crap when told this crap after being diagnosed with a deadly disease. Just putting this out there so I can get over the negitivity and back to positive healing.

    • January 8, 2018 at 4:52 am

      So Sorry to read about your health problem. I hope and pray you are doing well and getting better.

  • October 16, 2017 at 9:47 am

    I remember studying with such lovely people who had such a zeal for Jehovah, and then eventually unfortunately studying enough to learn WT governing body thought they were the pope, and being so disappointed it was like what they criticized. I’ve never found such love and unity in “real” Christianity as I had with JWs, but I don’t trust any men who say they have the Exclusive relationship to God and the only source of Truth because what is true doesn’t change, and WT leadership shifts like sands and wind. The Mysogyny, but especially the Alpha Male (anointed) mysogyny is of Apes, not God, nor the best of Humananity. I’d like to be part of the survey and can’t easily see where to join. My JW fiancé killed himself or I’d ask him to take the survey also.

  • December 13, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Why Jesus did not use his father name Jehovah
    in his ministry thru out his life ?
    Jesus ought to know his father name, or is it man made name.

    • July 14, 2018 at 7:10 pm

      It’s for the same reason you don’t call your father by his first name. Unlike the other Bible characters, Jesus mostly used the title Heavenly Father. It makes sense because they have a father-son relationship.

      • December 24, 2018 at 12:45 am

        to Enigma Mann: Then why did the apostles and others who wrote the Greek Scriptures not use the name often either? I mean you could make an argument that when they quoted the Hebrew Scriptures and the tetragrammaton was there that they used the name at that time but it is a weak argument. Also there are several scriptures in the NT that the WT decided to insert the name Jehovah where it is not certain if it was there or the writer was referring to Jesus as Lord instead. The entire emphasis was on Jesus throughout the NT and using his name everywhere. Rarely di they use the name Jehovah or Yahweh etc.

        It seems odd that the WT uses it WAY MORE than it was used in the bible and especially the NT g Greek scriptures. In fact it is really weird that more and more in the WT magazines in last few years I have read articles where JESUS is never even mentioned. Every thing is Jehovah, j Jehovah and if you read the NT it just isn’t written like that. If GOD would have wanted his name spoken a so much doesn’t it seem reasonable that that his name would have been everywhere in the NT instead of the Term GOD?

  • January 8, 2018 at 2:34 am

    My name is David Rafael Báez Torres, 829-618-5299, my aunt Eneida Mercedes Torres Suárez (88 years old) belonging to the Jehovah’s Witnesses (Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society) was vandalized by these until it becomes a weight for the congregation (sect) and decide to get rid of it (Kill her), with the clear approval of the president of the Jehovah’s Witnesses in the Dominican Republic, Leonardo Amor Pérez 001-0071144-9 and made by his acolytes closest to my aunt, among them the PuertoRican Felix Alberto Rivera Molina 001-1450878-5 the Spanish Felipe Puertas Moya 084-0014215-7 and the Dominican Marianela Veloz (001-1293123-3).

  • January 8, 2018 at 2:40 am

    My name is David Rafael Báez Torres, 829-618-5299, my aunt Eneida Mercedes Torres Suárez (88 years old) belonging to the Jehovah’s Witnesses (Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society) was vandalized by these until it becomes a weight for the congregation (sect) and decide to get rid of it (Kill her), with the clear approval of the president of the Jehovah’s Witnesses in the Dominican Republic, Leonardo Amor Pérez 001-0071144-9 and made by his acolytes closest to my aunt, among them the PuertoRican Felix Alberto Rivera Molina 001-1450878-5 the Spanish Felipe Puertas Moya 084-0014215-7 and the Dominican Marianela Veloz (001-1293123-3).

    • May 19, 2018 at 4:40 pm

      Hello sadly in my country (Dominican Republic) there is no justice, we are in the first places of everything bad (Bribery, corruption, bad education, etc.) every important proseso was motivated in the external, for this I ask you please show interest in this case.
      Jehovah’s Witnesses (Please inquire, the money came to U.S.A.)
      International organized crime (FBI definition), It is important to know that this mafia organization is based in Brooklyn New York, USA.
      My name is David Rafael Báez Torres, Cel.:829-618-5299, my aunt Eneida Mercedes Torres Suárez (88 years old) belonging to Jehovah’s Witnesses (Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society) was vandalized by these until it becomes a burden to The congregation (sect) and decide to get rid of it (Kill her), with the clear approval of the president of the Jehovah’s Witnesses in the Dominican Republic, Leonardo Amor Pérez (001-0071144-9) and made by his acolytes closest to my aunt, among them The Puerto Rican Felix Alberto Rivera Molina (001-1450878-5), the Spanish Felipe Puertas Moya (084-0014215-7) and the Dominican Marianela Veloz (001-1293123-3).


  • January 9, 2018 at 10:38 am

    Well I’ve always liked this site because I didn’t have to be in social media. I don’t want to be on any social media because I don’t want jw’s to find me ever again. I wanted to be a part.of the 2017 survey but I have to be on some type of social media now. I just want to say that after watching the 2016 survey I am disgusted that a part of the donations go to their fight against the sexual abuse scandal they as jw’s so much so created themselves by protecting the perpetrator. I am one of their victims of sexual abuse and would never donate to such a cause DISGUSTING!
    Thankfully I have a good mental state considering all the Jehovah’s witnesses have done to me. Not contemplated suicide and now no depression I as an apostate am extremely happy.
    My religious state now we’ll I’m definitely agnostic now. But with that being said the shunning is so sad that believing in a good is tough because I find myself wanting to believe in something especially since I am fighting breast cancer now. I believe after my chemo I will have beat this ugly disease. With that said the American Cancer society team asked me if I have a support system, 7 years ago I would have had to say no but you create your own friends and yes family. I’ve had 2 surgeries in 2 months and since it is ingrained in me since childhood I asked the anesthesiologist how much blood loss. Didn’t sign any papers not to accept blood but still asked! How very sad that is!
    As for the shunning my parents are aware of my cancer and have said “You reap what you sow” and also that they have to relinquish all ties for their own spiritual survival. WOW so all in all I’ve had 3 committee meetings that were unfair and my parents took the witnesses side all 3 times I’ve been reinstated 1 time to be with family I’m disfellowshiped now and will never return to them again! EVER!!!!
    In the case of my family this is the 3rd strike and they are out! Take the side of a cult and see what your future really looks like when the so called elders put them in a home!
    As for should they be paying taxes ABSOLUTELY they deserve it!
    I don’t know all the questions about the survey I hope my response can be included. I cannot be on social media for protection of myself. Unfortunately I did bring a few to baptism and now encourage everyone I meet never to listen to Jehovah’s witnesses or relinquish their power to them especially through baptism.

  • July 14, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    There are all these claims about JWs being a cult, yet they have never published a book solely written by one of their leaders. Yet here we have a book written by Lloyd, with his face plainly on the cover, and for sale on Amazon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for critical thinking and for each person making their own decisions in life, but I get very suspicious when there is direct solicitation for money, as money is quite the motivating force.

    After reading a lot of the comments here, I can sense the anger, criticism, and the hate through the computer screen. Yet for all I know, Truth and Hate never goes together. I’m sorry, but these are simply my honest opinions. I think there are much more noble and worthier causes to fight for and to be an activist for than fight this tiny religious group.

    • July 15, 2018 at 3:52 pm


      I don’t think you have studied the history of Jehovah’s Witnesses at all. The great majority of all publications from the 1800s all the way through 1942 were authored by Charles Russell and Joseph Rutherford almost exclusively. Furthermore, from the 1950s through the 1970s, most of the key Watchtower books were authored by Frederick W Franz. As an example, “Life Everlasting in Freedom of the Sons of God” was compiled by Franz and focused on the year 1975 as the most likely time for the onset of Armageddon.

      Now that books are being abandoned in favor of videos, The governing body members are front and center in the public eye, more so than ever before. Nothing says cult better than eight men and their helpers preaching from their televangelistic network in New York, controlling the lives of eight million followers.

      You are free to follow your own passions and interests, but for those of us who have been affected by this religious organization, we will continue to write and produce information which is both informative and helpful to the public. And unlike Jehovah’s Witnesses, we do not solicit ice cream money or other donations from children or impoverished individuals.


  • December 23, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    Hi Lloyd my name is Vince & I am a JW faithfully serving Jehovah & to our lord and savior Jesus Christ. Yeah, you have a point and I may say a lot (bcoz I have watched some of your videos) but for me obedience to the word of God is what truly important. If the Governing body as we call it had something does or doing something wrong with the organization. One thing is for sure; they will partake to the wrath of God, because leaving the org. Is not a wise idea besides where are we going?

    Best regards, brother…

  • January 6, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Just watched video with x-bible students Peter & Stephanie. Enjoyed. became aware that you have investigated other Faiths, and interviewed credible persons who has left these Faiths. Wondering if you have interviewed individuals who are consciously meeting with one of these Faiths? Maybe you could learn more by asking individuals why they have NOT left their Faith?

    Peter seemed to be a good source about the Bible Student Movement, but, as you must know, there are other Bible Student classes that are not associated with the Dawn for study but do fellowship regularly with those of the Dawn, PBI, Layman, etc. speaking to some who are still Bible Students could be of value in your search to grow your personal relationship with God without loosing your “liberty in Christ”. For instance, if you watch a discourse that appeals to you, that speaker would probably be happy to speak with you. You already understand that Bible Students do not have a central headquarters and function as independent classes.

    Have you read volume One, reserving judgement until the last page? Consider not “ throwing out the baby with the bath”. If you were to read all six volumes penned by Charles Russell— with Bible in hand, answers might be found and satisfying. Whatever you can read about CTR, the best way to know about his work is to read it. It’s not about the messenger it’s the message. He never desired for anyone to take his word for it, but to search the Scriptures and make it your own.

    PS. The brother who put together the HTDB tool that searches Bible, CTR & bible student publications would be a great contact for you. Let us know if you’d like to get in contact with.

    Hi & Debbie
    Luke 2:10 & Acts 3:19-21

  • January 7, 2019 at 10:39 am

    I appreciate your work brother.
    Sincerely Leopold theseconed.

  • February 2, 2019 at 12:47 am

    I’m disturbed by the anguish I’ve seen in the posts by ex JWs who leave. There are quite a few stories about becoming impoverished and losing relationships and it makes me sad that people may stay stuck in the jw mess from superstitious fear of God getting back at them socially and financially.

    My story is exactly the opposite. I grew up subjected to abuse and neglect by a mentally ill mother and her boyfriends/husbands, but all abuse se I endured at their hands as a little girl paled in comparison to the hideous turn my life took when she decided to become a JW (mostly because a bunch of old white men told her what to do about literally everything and saved her from her own monumental screw ups when she relied upon herself for life answers).

    To make a long story short, about when I was in middle school I realized these people were all either low IQ or emotionally damaged which is why they involved themselves in the first place, and I didn’t plan to live in squalor or deal with stupidity the rest of my life. My mistake was telling my mom when I was in 10th grade my plans of leaving and pursuing higher education. She immediately ran to the old white men and together they engineered a plan for her to not enroll me in high school the year I turned 16, when legally you can drop out. This would make me an unwilling drop out. Then, they were going to send me to ‘bethal’, evidently some weird boarding school for witnesses.

    The one lucky break I had was my dad took me in for one year between 11th and 12th grade, before her plan could unfold which allowed me to get to graduation. After that I graduated college, got into a great career and made a living well above average also got married to a non witness and have great kids in college themselves.

    My happily ever after would never have happened if I stayed a JW. Did it hurt to become estranged from my mom and the only people I knew as a kid, yes at first. Was it confusing, scary, difficult, yes it was at first. But my happily ever after would never had happened if I didn’t get out.

    The part that is ironic, my mom got married to yet another man this one is JW. They are financially almost on the streets because of the stupid decisions they made (why earn money and save when everyone is going to be destroyed and we are all going to play with elephants and lions in paradise?). She shunned me for 17 years and then started calling and acting kindly and interested in my life. She tried showing up at my aunt her sisters house with no money to get home so that my poor aunt would take her in. My aunt also had cancer and when it came back and she was really sick my mom and her husband vanished.

    The real reason for the new outreach is she’s older and broke, with no chance to recover financially and worried about where they will live and what they will do. Where are the helpful old white men now? Who knows.

    My take, this may be the only family and friends you have right now due to their isolating practices but did you choose them and think do you really want them? If they shun you consider it a blessing to be rid of them and there is a world of wonderful loving people and great opportunity to start over.

    I remember being threatened with Jehovah’s wrath and telling my mom I’d prefer to be destroyed and end up in the pile of dead and rotting bodies at Armageddon than live with the kingdom hall morons for eternity, and I still stand by my decision.

  • February 26, 2019 at 2:51 am

    Hello Lloyd, I too engage Jehovahs Witness on their carts in the UK and have had contact with various JW’s since 1981. It would be good to chat with you sometime. I look forward to hearing from you.

  • June 22, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    Dear John,
    (OK, I’ve come to discover your name is Lloyd, but I’ve never had the opportunity to write a Dear John letter before. I’m sure you see the humour in this) By chance, an ‘Apostate’ showed up in my you Tube playlist. I didn’t even know what that was as I usually search music and Horror movies.
    His Vlog showed me so much, he and people who wrote to him made my heart sink to the cold depths below my soul.
    This is how your Vlog ended up in my playlist. I have spent most of the past 72 hours watching your video’s.
    I Love your commentaries as I laugh and laugh! Thank You!
    My ‘Issue’:
    I have been studying regularly with the JW’s for 8 years now.
    I had built a Solid friendship with my first Study Facilitator, let’s call him Aaron. For 5 years things were great. 2 hour studies twice a week. I was taking to heart everything I was learning. Even Disfellowshipping (which my subconcious mind always throws Dismembering out of my mouth first and I have to think of the correct word).
    I have never been able to come to terms with this. I always figured if someone you know is in a bad place, slipping away, You hold them closer, show them more Love and attention. But in the JW’s eyes, I am WRONG.
    Due to health issues all along I was losing everything because I wasn’t able to work anymore. Had to sell my vehicle and my house and I ended up with my 2 Pups Living in a Park for 19 months. Not the best place to be with all the drugs, assults and murders happening right around me. But, I always held to the idea that Jehovah was protecting me. One thing- My Pups and I never had to worry about food, warm clothes or blankets. I called that a gift from Jehovah.
    I even called it a gift when by chance 2 JW’s were Stalking the park looking for anyone who’d talk with them. We’ll call them Bob and Larry.
    Well, being homeless, yes you end up with more time on your hands and Bob used to just show up whenever. I need to be prepared for Social Interactions, as this is one of my Mental Health Issues.
    Bob also liiked to hurry through chapters, never answering my questions. Larry would stop him on occasion and answer my questions. With Larry, I could feel a genuine caring of what I learned. With Bob, I felt like I was just another mark on his Lipstick Case. (For lack of a better term).
    During this time, I did stay as close to Aaron as allowed. This was when I learned our friendship is “CONDITIONAL”. I must start attending meeting again.
    So what can I do but show up with my shopping cart, with my Pups in it and bring them in, not having showered for months. I couldn’t leave my Pups outside in 117 degree heat. I did as I was told, I attended meetings.
    Then Aaron told me one day how everyone was talking about me. OOPS! WRONGthing to say to me, another one of my Mental Health Issues- constant feelings of Persecution.
    I’ve never been to a meeting again.
    Bob and Larry, well, unfortunately, Larry became more Ill and he wasn’t able to come to the park with Bob anymore. Larry, had already pushed me to a point at one time I had told him to leave me alone. He doesn’t care about me, he doesn’t care about my questions. As he asked, I’d write down my questions and we’d begin with thise at out next Study. Whenever that would be. But when we’d start study, he’d tell me we’ll disccuss those later. Anywhoo: 2 week after telling Bob to leave me alone, one day he showed up with 10 Brothers that were visiting from Bethel in New York! F*%# M%!!! Next Mental Health issue- Never be in large groups of people I don’t know without a means of escape!
    Bob decided we were going to continue with our Studies, right where we’d left off. I have a crowd of men behind me. Where was my focus? Not on Study. Survival.
    I did my best and after 2 hours they all finally leave. Notch on the Lipstick Case.
    A few days Later Bob shows up again unannounced. I din’t, couldn’t hold back! I called him every foul word I knew, let him know EXACTLY where he stands with me! I did everything but beat him with my cruch and have a heart attack and die on the spot!
    Later that day Aaron showed up to see how I was. Bob called him and said- “I think Jeffrey is mad at me”. Aaron is aware of all of my health issues and hetold me how Bob shows up beccause he ‘Cares”. Not buying it Aaron.
    So I’m not homeless anymore, Aaron got transferred to another territory, but he set me up with whom we’ll call Jim.
    From moment one we got on like we’d known each other forever. Good match! Jim always helps look up answers to my questions, he questions me, he makes up his own parables at times like Jesus did… Just very good for me Mentally, plus I was able to get another vehicle, so we meet weekly at the Kingdom Hall, where I get introduced, altough I still won’t go to any meetings. That was blown outa the water.
    I forgot to mention, the second reason I have not yet been Baptised, besides Dismemberment is I will not cut off my hair or beard and be someone elses clone. I used to have to do that in the secular world and those situations never worked out. My hair and beard look good, I’m well groomed. Needless to say, it isn’t an exciting thought for me to go to a yearly what’s it called? with 35000 people or so. It’s TERRIFYING! So 3 reasons I haven’t been baptised.
    Now that I’ve watched hours of your documentaries and commentaries, I feel Dirty for spending all this time studying and preparing myself.
    Last week, Jim and I began the Last Chapter of Keep Yourself in God’s Love (the second book). I asked what happens when we’re done. Jim said that he’s check in on me time to time or I can get baptised.
    Another ‘Conditional’ friendship.
    What I have learned though in this past 8 years, that I NEVERlearned growing up in the Roman Catholic Church, is thtat with the knowledge Ihave now, I DO want to be Baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ.
    Not with the Jehovah’s Witnessess though.
    Now I’m left with no guidance on who to contact to be able to be baptized in a private ceremony in a Church of People (The Church is not the Building) who I will be able to have kinship and hold dear and not have to push away because some Egocentrics in New York say I have to.
    Any Suggestions?
    Thanks if you read this far, I really needed to speak to someone as last week Jim also had mentioned to me that the video’s that I’m beginning to watch are Satan’s subtle way of taking me from the True Religion. Ugh!
    A.K.A. and preferred,

    I guess there isn’t a private space to leave my phone number if you have someone who can help counsel me?

  • August 14, 2019 at 4:37 pm

    I was raised as a JW by my dad and stepmom. My stepmom was emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive. It was reported to the elders time and time again, to no avail. My stepmom had a very convincing manipulative nature that always made it look like we were lying about this. We didn’t tell our dad half the stuff that went on while he was gone to work. Even if we had, he would have believed our stepmom. We got to where we didn’t report it anymore because of the repercussions of it at home. Our stepmom needed mental help. She would accuse my dad of looking at other women all of the time and went as far as to break every laptop and phone he bought. When I was 15 my stepmom got angry at me for something small and when I went to walk into my room, she grabbed me by the hair and started hitting me. I ran outside and told my dad that I coudn’t live there anymore and we had to “sit down with the elders”. I stayed until I was 19 only for the sake of my sister whom I didn’t want to leave there by herself with our stepmom. When I left, my stepmom wouldn’t let my dad or sister talk to me. To this day I am shunned.

  • January 19, 2021 at 3:02 pm

    Thanks for all the work and information. I am PIMO so for sure I will not revel too much, however I would like to share this link for all to see: htttps;//www.jwletter.com

  • August 27, 2021 at 9:51 am

    I am looking for a ministerial servant who lives in Northern Liberties, PA, (I do not know his specific congregation) – White male, dark hair, average build – late 20s or 30s – who sexually assaulted my girlfriend while she was out with friends and became drunk. He sexually tortured her and dropped her off at my home. She refuses to tell me his name (he was known to her through the JW church so she trusted him to take her home – she is a former JW who remains in the closet so that she can stay in touch with her family). If anyone has an idea who this individual is, please respond.


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