If there is one reoccurring question, one burning issue that most readers who write in to JWsurvey need addressing, it is simply this… “how do I wake up my loved one?”
Few things are more distressing than being reduced to a helpless bystander as a husband/wife, father/mother or son/daughter plunges deeper into an endless cycle of subservience to a damaging cult – a cult that sucks the best out of people in terms of time, money, energy and potential, simply so they can be exploited as unpaid publicity agents and walking billboards.
It was this very issue that I raised with cult expert Steven Hassan during my recent trip to London to attend a workshop on how to undo undue influence (or “mind control” as it was formerly referred to).
Staging an intervention with someone who has been caught off-guard by a cult a few weeks or months ago is one thing, but how can we help those who have been indoctrinated over many years, even decades? Steven’s answer was very insightful.
“Don’t start by talking about controversial stuff about the group that they’re in,” he told me (among other things). “Talk about other groups or other circumstances, because one commonality with all of these groups is that when you’re in a totalistic group you don’t think it is, but you can see other ones. It’s very obvious that there’s something wrong.”
Those of us who have spent years as indoctrinated Witnesses will immediately identify with this advice. When a Witness is confronted with negative information about the organization, the shutters immediately go down as cognitive dissonance goes into overdrive. No matter how relevant or accurate the information is, he or she simply is not receptive to it, because they are programmed to dismiss it as ‘apostate lies’.
But it’s a slightly different matter when it comes to pointing out the problems with other religions – something Watchtower publications have reveled in throughout the organization’s history. By exposing a loved one to other cult-like groups, and allowing them to draw conclusions by themselves, you are essentially opening up a back door that has already been left ajar by Watchtower propaganda, with its relentless condemnation of all other faiths.
With this in mind, I decided it was high time I put together a video and article to highlight examples of documentary films that are particularly excellent vehicles for initiating a neutral, non-confrontational dialogue (or “strategic interactive approach,” as Steven calls it) with an indoctrinated loved one. The first documentary I’d like to draw your attention to, released as recently as June this year, is about the Mormon faith.
If you are trying to watch this documentary from the UK, click here.
“Meet the Mormons” follows the story of Josh Fields (or “Elder Fields” as we are later required to call him) as he embarks on a two-year missionary tour in northern England. I found out about this film only after being asked to watch it by one of its producers, who was also in attendance at the London workshop.
But whereas most who have seen it will have found it enjoyable and entertaining, I found myself writhing in my seat in discomfort. Why? Because watching a young Mormon being initiated into cult servitude forced me to relive my own experiences as a young Jehovah’s Witness.
Yes, there were theological and doctrinal differences. Watchtower doesn’t teach that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri, or that God lives on a planet (or star) named Kolob, or that large underwear must be worn to preserve chastity, or that swimming is prohibited for missionaries.
But strip away all this doctrinal detritus, and you have the same cult machinery and undue influence methods whirring away underneath – albeit under different branding and with an alternative set of leaders at the helm.
If watching this revealing documentary was so painful for ME, even though I’ve been rid of my indoctrination for a few years now, I can only imagine how excruciating it would be for a Witness still inside. But that is precisely why they MUST watch it. The medicine may be tough to swallow, but exploring undue influence and its grip on people in “mirror” cults is medicine nonetheless.
The two other documentaries I wish to draw attention to (and I am sure there are many more) are by the acclaimed investigative journalist and film-maker Louis Theroux, who spent considerable time with the Phelps family (AKA the Westboro Baptist Church) back in 2006, and then again as a follow-up in 2011. I have already written about these documentaries during the period I was writing for JWstruggle back in 2011 (my “Troubling Comparison” articles can still be found here: Part 1 | Part 2).
The Most Hated Family In America by dm_504902730e928
BBC Louis Theroux_ America’s Most Hated Family… by singaporegeek
Essentially, as with “Meet the Mormons,” these two brilliant films offer a disturbing glimpse into the cult mindset, but without ever mentioning Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s all there in spades… shunning, black-and-white “us versus them” ideology, doomsday predictions, child indoctrination, totalitarian leadership, you name it – just all wrapped up in different packaging.
It’s never easy
I’m not suggesting for a moment that waking up family members who have been indoctrinated by Watchtower for most of their lives is a walk in the park. I have repeatedly said that you cannot flick a switch when it comes to untangling years of layered indoctrination, deception, and emotional coercion by a cult that has no qualms in using the memory of dead loved ones as currency via the resurrection “promise.”
Sadly, Watchtower’s patented brand of undue influence is so potent that some husbands/wives, fathers/mothers and sons/daughters will never wake up, and this can be a bitter pill to swallow. But that doesn’t mean those of us who are mentally free can’t give it our best shot to “strategically interact” with such ones as the opportunity presents itself.
And while it perhaps isn’t as straightforward as saying that exposing your loved one to other cults as a respectful comparison is guaranteed to reap dividends, it is certainly worth a shot.
Further reading…
- A Troubling Comparison – Part 1
- A Troubling Comparison – Part 2
- Guardian newspaper review of “Meet the Mormons”
- A Mormon examines his faith with a little help from Jehovah’s Witnesses
- Steven Hassan video on the “strategic interactive approach”
- JWsurvey articles on support
Related video…
Cedars, you have hit a major homerun with this post and attached very-relevant videos. Okay, for us Yanks that is the highest compliment that we can give you. Keep up the good work.
Thanks Richard. I appreciate your considerable role in setting up the London undue influence workshop, which was extremely informative and instrumental to this article being written! :)
Cedars,
Didn’t Russell in one of his books say that God was from a planet?
Hi John. Thanks for the article. Tried the link on the Morman YouTube video. Unfortunately it’s not available in the UK.:-(
Hi Gary! Try the link beneath the video (or Google “meet the mormons on demand”) and you should be able to watch it! :)
:-) sorry lol just seen the message under the video. . . Should have gone to Specsavers:-) apologies.
haha, great! Glad you found it. ;)
Cedars, Thank you so much for this article! You have handled this in a loving, non-threatening, non-aggressive manner.
Most of us can only think of helping our loved ones to see what is wrong with Jehovah’s Witnesses. It came as a shock to use a different high-control religion just to get them thinking about the similarities.
This should be very helpful for a lot of our brothers and sisters who are staying in the organization to support their family because they can still talk to each other. It’s the most sensible suggestion I’ve heard so far.
I can’t talk to my family because I am being shunned, but I know what to do if ever I do get to talk with any JW To help awaken them.
I’m going to watch that Steven Hassan video on “The Strategic Interactive Approach”. Thanks for all those links!
Cedars, I have struggled with this one. I woke up about 5 years ago and my family keep me at arms length. Ive come to terms with this. But my parents are in their late 70’s and not in the best of health. They have put their whole lives on hold because Armagedon is soooo close. I wonder if it would be in thier best interest to try to wake them up because they have an excelent support system around them in the kingdom hall they belong to.
Like yourself Im agnostic now so I dont belive their souls are in eternal danger whereas some of the bloggers on this site might think so.
I think that long term members in the cult are happy in thier circle, its the newer ones who havnt burnt thier bridges that maybe need this information soon before its too late.
Velvia – I would agree that age is definitely a factor in considering the urgency of waking up a loved one. My Dad has spent the majority of his life in the cult and is now in his late 50s, but he still has decades left to enjoy freedom if he can somehow wake up. It’s different for those in their twilight years for whom the stress of realizing their entire lives have been forfeited to the fruitless servitude of a cult might be too distressing to bear.
Velta – I’ve just had to stop your comment from being posted. Please familiarize yourself with our posting guidelines (below), which prohibit evangelism. It’s ok for you to say that you personally benefit from “reading and believing the Bible and asking for Holy Spirit.” It’s not ok for you to suggest that everyone else should do the same.
I can only relate to the process that made me understand that I was a fanatic and that led to my exit from a fanatic cult. ( I consider the word “fanatic” to be correct when the Belief System is considered more important than Life).
And I did not get any information whatsoever about other cult mechanisms, but I got extremely disturbed when nice people asked me questions and patiently listened to me when I answered them.
What follows is an extract from my personal memories “My Wonderful Childhood as a Fanatic”:
I was out preaching the word of God to people and met a man who was interested in discussing with me and the discussion went on well, in the right direction. And the right direction was the hope of eternal life in Paradise. But then he interrupted me with an unexpected question.
-What will happen to those who are not accepted into Paradise?
He looked me straight in the eyes, kindly but firmly. He wanted to know…and I did not know what to say. Should I say “die” or should I use the biblical word “perish”, or…. And now a little toddler came up to the door, put his arms around the leg of his father and looked curiously at me and that made me even more nervous.
The silence became awkward, the father continued to look at me and I searched my brain for the best answer. Of course, I knew the answer – that these people would die but I could not bring myself to use exactly that word. And then I got it, the perfect expression that I had heard some weeks earlier from a speaker in the congregation. I straightened myself up and tried to say it as firmly as possible and then I said it but I did not manage to say it “in one go”:
-These people will be … taken away.
-Taken away?
-Yes…taken away.
The man looked at me with sad eyes and finally said something about putting the child to bed. Or he said something else, I do not remember. What I do remember very well is that I went straight home that evening, without finishing my tour. I felt like a lousy representative for God. That conversation was one of several that started to make me feel uncomfortable in my faith. The fact that billions of people would die at Doomsday had not bothered me so far – but when I had to say it aloud to a kind person, it sounded strange. I had made contact with my inner voice and that was unpleasant.
Conclusion: My advice is to ask the loved one you want to “wake up” to tell as much as possible about the religion/the belief system as possible, simply because that is what he/she wants to talk about. If he/she wants to hear about Undue Influence concepts in “false religions”, then I guess that Steve Hassan’s advice is correct, but if he/she is not open for this – then ask kind questions and let them hear how it sounds when they say horrible things. This demands patience, time and also some digging into the belief system of the loved one but it will be worth it. In any case, it worked for me.
Hi Klas. The usual way to answer that situation is to derail the question. Something like “all righteous people will be blessed with everlasting life”. And then focus on how wonderful it would be have God’s blessing by doing …. .
Probably this comment is not so useful to you. I just like to point out in general that recognizing when people’s answers are avoiding the question is a critical thinking skill, which is important to learn. And a “good” JW would answer along the lines of the above.
I’m afraid my family is just going to point out the differences like:
1) JWs don’t revere a single man
2) JWs have open/public meetings (and therefore are not “secret”..? well…)
3) JWs don’t have such an extensive “white rulebook” (although they do actually have many rules spread out over many wt articles but it’s not as concrete)
4) They shun the missionaries for a silly reason, JWs shun people because they have “unrepentantly sinned against God”.
Thanks for the suggestion though, I am going to try! I can just hope they pick up on other things. In addition to what Cedars said, I saw the family crying when the boy starts his missionary work (and must shun him). Or the instructions for preaching, that holy spirit guides them when they meet people having a difficult time, e.g. just divorced.
Another thing I noted, they don’t have a problem with a prayer being filmed; JWs would never allow that. When I was a sound servant before, some brothers and sisters even suggested that the prayers at begin and end should not be recorded. They were “sacred”… never really understood that reasoning.
Garth,
I know – that gliding answer would have been the “perfect” jw reply. But then you shall not give up, try to act as a skilled journalist and repeat and reformulate the question so that they do not get away with evasive answers.
When I was subjected to at least 30 meetings with elders trying to convince me back to the congregation, I consistently talked about the horror of billions of people executed at Doomsday. That did not convince them, but it made the discussion a draw and that is very annoying for a person who firmly Believes that he/she is in possession of the Absolute and proveable Truth. All these discussions ended in the same conclusion from the elders:”Well, you have to have the right spiritual attitude to get the Truth”. To which I concluded that “well then you must first Believe it is the Truth Before you can be convinced that it is the Truth?” and then I got only sad smiles – I was infected with worldly wisdom.
The greatest song I have heard , to this point, regarding waking from religious indoctrination is the Carpet Crawlers by Genesis. Ironic and poignant and very beautiful.
Waking can be a painful experience:-( (not your faith but faith in those) that’s frightening:-( . :-) we know.x
My own indoctrination I could only describe as the ‘ ‘ olony of slippermen’. Always have one eye open & go to specsavers:-). Chow.x
This is a great idea. Although I don’t have family members in the religion (I was the only JW in my family) I do have good friends who are still members, even though I haven’t heard from them in quite some time.
Thank you very much, John, for another excellent article!
@Gareth–I agree that a ‘true believer’ JW wanting to cling to a long-held belief system will find excuses to discredit the comparison, but–
1) JWs don’t revere a single man – ask them if an elder gave them directions that violated their conscience or a scriptural contradiction, would they follow it without questioning?
2) JWs have open/public meetings (and therefore are not “secret”..? well…) – ask them if they’ve ever seen heard a meeting of the GB council, or even their local elder meetings?
3) JWs don’t have such an extensive “white rulebook” (although they do actually have many rules spread out over many wt articles but it’s not as concrete) – tricky because discussing with elders can use the Elder Handbook as example, but you stated it well in using the Watchtower Index as their voluminous rulebook
4) They shun the missionaries for a silly reason, JWs shun people because they have “unrepentantly sinned against God”. – tricky proposition but there are typical examples of one repentant transgressor seeking reinstatement and being held at bay for years while the sneaky, “I-almost-got-away-with-it” partner in sin is quickly welcomed back into the fold and restored privileges. I also ask persons who spout that line to give me their definition of what “unrepentant sinner” looks like, sounds like, talks like, walks like, etc. And, is there a verse of scripture that give the characteristics, as follow-up.
I remember discussing Harold Camping with my JW friend a few years ago. He had set all these dates for the end of the world, so obviously he was a false prophet. She couldn’t see the similarity, of course!
Cedars, excellent article. This is exactly what helped me wake up in my late 50’s (it is never too late for those of you who have parents my age or older). I saw a news program on the FLDS Mormons and I bought the book the program was based on. After I read that book I bought at least 5 more on the subject, then started reading about the Amish, Scientologists and North Koreans. I could see the same theme throughout all of these books and I said to myself they remind me of the Witnesses. I then went on Amazon and bought two books about the Witnesses and it was getting clearer for me. I finished those two books and went back on Amazon and tried to find a book that had the best reviews with a lot of people reading it and that is when I came across Crisis of Conscience. That did it for me and my husband and we are both out together. Once a person sees what the other cults believe and just how crazy their beliefs are it is easier to see the connection and the controlling aspect of all of them. Again, very good article.
Thank you again Cedars.
I too was affected by comparing cults. I had not been involved for a long time, and was finding my own inner voice slowly.
What it was for me was the Taliban. They were planning to destroy to ancient statues of Buddha that had been carved into a mountain in Afghanistan. The historical value of them was clear, but the ‘false’ religious aspect of them offended their sensibilities. I thought ‘the WT would do exactly the same thing’. That was the icing on the cake for me.
So I concur, this is a valuable tool to aid the indoctrinated mind.
I totally agree with you, once again!!!
It was the documentary on Jim Jones and the People’s Temple that probably had the single, biggest effect on shaking my mind free of the WT cult.
I remember hearing about the Americans who committed suicide back in the late ’70’s when I was a kid, and even then I thought that Jim Jones looked and acted like one of the JW ‘heavies’ to me. (I saw clips of Jim Jones on the news reports my parents would constantly watch, waiting for Armageddon to begin). So when the documentary about this cult came out I watched it as soon as I could and then watched it about 4 more times. It made me shudder to see how much The People’s Temple was like the JW’s!
I have attempted to get my mother and wife to view this documentary but they won’t do it. It’s funny, they know how they are in a cult but they don’t want to admit it to themselves.
I will try with these other videos.
Thank you
whats troubling me about all of this, is once we realize that religion is just a means to control people, and that it might be all a bunch of stories, what now do we have to look forward to when we get old? I keep finding more and more reason to believe that there isnt even a Christ. let alone God. at least based on our current information. that said,
the only thing that keeps a lot of people from taking their life or being chronically depressed, is thinking that we have a second chance to live again. take that away, and whats the whole point of living? how many humans are nothing more than simply existing from one day to the next, and have literally nothing in their life to be happy for? even fake hope at least makes life tolerable.
my parents are also in their mid 70s, and they would have no life at all if the people at the kingdom hall were not part of it, its all they know, and for the remainder of their life , this is their support system, if even only on an emotional level. [because its sure not on any other level] I choose to avoid the religious discussion with my parents
plus we’ve had it in our minds that someday we will have a chance for this perfect life and forever. and now we have no hope but death. so , hows that working for everyone? We have one life to live, and for millions of people it sucks and will never get better. So Id say secretly we all hope were wrong.
Chatpal, I know what you are talking about!
My parents are also in their mid to late 70’s and they don’t have any hobbies, sports or any other interest groups beside the people in the KH. (My father knows it all BS but goes for the social aspect. He actually likes the door-to-door work as an excuse to knock on his neighbour’s doors!). It is better to leave them alone in the beliefs/routines.
Bill Maher is a particular favourite of mine and he describes atheists as people who are open to examine any evidence that you can present. We are billing to change our minds unlike the indoctrinated religions. “I don’t know what happens after death but what I do know is that you don’t know either” is a quote from him.
Of course we all hope that there is something better, whether it is from Ancient Alien theories, a higher plane of existing or a benevolent creator. It’s just that some omniscient, omnipresent being that never communicates with us personally but constantly judges us, especially as we do things while naked, and allows all kinds of wickedness to see his purposes fulfilled somehow, is repulsive to thinking people. That and BS artists that love to bark orders to get the sheep-el that he can control to jump through hoops, is just too much to ask to get some comfort as ‘we all make the slow crawl to the grave’ as the Russians say.
My personal feeling is that people who believe that this life may be all there is, are more loving, more caring for others and the environment and much more hesitant to do other people and animals harm. They try to get as much out of this life as possible instead of saving all their joy for the next life, which may or may not come. No one has went ‘there’ (wherever ‘that’ is and returned to tell us about it).
Many children love to believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus or Vampires. Once they know these things are not real, their lives do not lose any value or meaning because they have lost the hopes and fears they once had. On the contrary, they now live with more appreciation and courage!
chatpal, It sounds as if you may be depressed. I have depression myself, so I know what it feels like to have not even a spark of hope. I did get professional help and I am on an anti-depressant I will be on the rest of my life, unless they find a cure! I am doing so much better since I found out what was wrong and got help.
Depression might be something to get checked out, a lot of us deal with depression, it’s no small matter because at one point I even considered suicide as a way to end my turmoil and pain. Sadly, too many of our brothers and sisters have chosen to take their own lives to end their suffering.
Happiness to me is a decision I get to make every day. I choose to be happy, because it’s a whole lot more fun and exciting. Every day is a new adventure for me. No one can give you happiness or make you happy, it is up to you to choose your own attitude. It really is that simple.
I am sorry that in losing faith in the organization, you lost all faith in God and Jesus. I found that the organization had not been exactly honest about the scriptures they use. I am now reading the Bible and I am part of a discussion group on line.
I have learned things that give me hope! The GB completely bypasses Jesus, who is really my savior. I trust that God gave the assignment of judging our hearts to Jesus, and that he is the one who can give me life after death, if he finds me worthy.
I have also learned that I am one of the anointed, and I had my own memorial celebration all by myself at home this year. Even baked my own bread. I know Jesus does not want to destroy billions of people, he wants us all to live. The Watchtower put that thought into our heads, I have found no evidence of it in the Bible of a coming mass murder.
I concentrate mainly on the New Testament, as I love to read about Jesus and how all we have to do is believe in him. I try and follow his commands to love God and to love my neighbor as I love myself. That is really all there is to is. The more you read, the more truth you learn.
I hope that you will pick up a Bible again, not the JW Bible though, it seems there are ummmm, mistakes in it. I like the site Biblehub.com because you can compare 21 different versions to try and get the most accurate translation possible.
We are each on our own separate journey now. We are free from the confines of the cult we were in. We can live the life we want for ourselves. We can make new friends that have unconditional love. We can build our own support network and we can volunteer to help our neighbors. Volunteering makes me feel better than any field service I ever did. We are all free to believe in whatever resonates with our own hearts. All of us are at a different place in our journey. I think the destination is not so important as living and enjoying each moment of our journey.
I love this site because we are free to love and accept each other no matter what we have chosen to believe, with no judging at all. Live and let live.
I hope you can find peace and contentment for yourself. Even though I have hope for the future, the reality now is we only have this one life to live.
Hi Country girl
I enjoy your heartfelt comments and I believe what you have gone through and especially your comments on how he WT bypasses Jesus most of the time. There are actual WT articles that don’t even dis cuss Jesus but only the Father? If you read the Christian scriptures they are always talking about the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When I used to read the bible on my own as a former JW that thought would always enter my mind. Why is the WT not talking more about Jesus? Even if they do not believe in the trinity the Apostles and other writers ALWAYS talked about him. It was like the WT was afraid if they put to much emphasis on Jesus or mentioned him to often maybe some might start believing in a trinity or something. The early writings of Russell and others spoke and wrote of Jesus more and also emphasized the salvation by Christ.
Another note Country girl? The Bible does speak of destruction by God and Jesus Christy in the book of Revelation. It is very graphic although the JW’s like to teach all the ones being destroyed are all NON JW”S!
The Bible does talk about Judgment on people for their ungodly acts and the way the choose to live their lives.
Even in the Gospels at the REAL 2nd coming of Christ it is quite descriptive of people not receiving eternal life and much destruction. I for sure do Not agree with the WT explanation that the Book of Revelation and other prophecies apply to them but it is pretty clear that at the day of Judgment many people will not have eternal life. Jesus for sure loves all of us and died for all of us and is the true mediator of mankind but that is what a Judge does. He judges people. The great thing is we don’t have to worry about if we are doing “ENOUGH” field service or “ENOUGH” witnessing to others to be saved. it is purely up the Lord Jesus and how he reads our hearts.
I love this website! These videos were frightening. Especially the lady from the Westboro Church. Felt so bad for Josh in the “Meet the Mormons” video. Scary similarities there with JWs.
I’m a third generation born in. Baptized in 1980 at 17. Inactive now for five+ years and didn’t realize I questioned so much til I started digging. I really appreciate this website, Marc & Cora’s you tube videos, JW Struggle, and more I can’t think of.
Reading all the books and am in shock at what I’m finding. Solid foundation? Not so much.
This waking up stuff isn’t for the faint hearted! Nice to know there’s support out there.
Thank you for all you do, John!
What a weired coincidence. I was trying to help another JW to think for himself in trying to explain why I had become inactive. I wanted to do this with out getting the apostate label. So I sent him a news article on the mormon church with the problems they are currently facing. Honestly with that article if you were to replace the words mormon / salt lake City /the prophet WITH Jehovah witness / Brooklyn Bethel / governing body. You would see that although doctrinally quite different the problems they are facing going into the future (with regards to defections, information on the Internet) are exactly the same. Unfortunately this JW had no idea of what I was on about and asked me why I sent him an article on the mormon church. I explained by saying it was showing how religious organisations are been forced to change. Sigh
I concur with Mr Hassan. 4 years ago when I decided I was leaving I shared with my wife, my, Closest friend, and his wife the incredible program by National Geographic, entitled “Inside North Korea”. This remarkable piece of journalism was done by Lisa Ling. it is an expose of a personality cult. It is amazing to watch a doctor risk his life to help people in North Korea regain their sight.
I will not ruin the program by telling how it ends, but it is quite shocking the response of the people to being able to see again. I could not believe it until I compare my own background to that of these people who are duped by their so called beloved leader. Who is to them the son of God and therefore cannot be questioned. The similarity between Kim Jong Ill and the GB are remarkable. I most recently got a few of my older witness friends to watch it and now they no longer go and are considered inactive.
Since the religious connection isn’t as easily made it is easy to get others to watch and yet there are so many other aspects are identical to JWs. People found the leader of North Korea appalling, almost all witnesses will as well. However a fee questions at the end helps to unravel the mind control for anyone watching. Who deserves the credit for these people regaining their eyesight? Who do the people thank? Is that right? Does it make you feel ill inside? Does not the doctor who risked his life deserve the credit?
Watch these peoples emotional response to the shocking lies of their leader. Ask the simple questions, are these people confident? Is it possible for me to be duped like these sincere millions? How would I know? If there was a cover up and I found it, would I stay and ignore it, or work for change. If I took that cover up to the GB would they listen or would I get in trouble for asking? Does the thought of bringing the truth to the GB scare me ?
If they are courageous and face the facts, they will have the same bad experience we all did. Then they will know exactly what to do.
If anyone has time they will not be disappointed.
National Geographic
Inside North Korea
Lisa Ling (reporter).
***** Excellent program.
Sorry about typos and punctuation problems on my post sent from iPhone.
What an interesting article, John.
I hope that this approach will help still more folks escape from the undue influence of the WTBTS.
Peace be with you
Excelsior!
Thank you for this excellent advice!
I *almost* became a JW myself, but escaped their influence, after being exposed to some facts about the Watchtower organization (corporation).
I am among those you describe: Sadly watching my parents and sister lose their “natural” personalities, and put on their “new personalities,” as the intelligent people who raised me become devout Witnesses of Jehovah.
The advice of well-meaning friends, is of little comfort, when this seemingly simple difference between religious denominations, actually rips your family in pieces.
I have another suggestion for viewing: The movie “1984.”
Prevention is better than cure. Probably more success will
come from informing people who are not already indoctrinated.
I have J,W, relatives who are trying draw my non witness relatives
into the Org, And I have given the latter information about the
history, the Controlling methods, and motives, of this “pseudo”
religion. So at least they won’t just get the one sided sugar coated
version.
Another side to this is , that they will be in a position to ask critical
questions, which in turn may raise doubts in the J,W.s, mind.
Growth in the Org, has slowed down, and it’s certain that sites like
John’s , and all the information that’s out there now, have prevented
many from becoming ensnared..maybe ones who have accepted
literature, or just stating a study,
As has been said , many J,W,s, are happy in their “Fools Paradise”
“Happiness based on a false hope.” ( As one who has wasted a
large chunk of my life working for that Org, I think I am entitled to
say that.). I’m not trying to be insulting, just trying to help people
take back control and not waste their life being exploited. to create
wealth for an already super rich business.
Hello John
Thank you so much for those videos. The Westboro Baptist church video was my first look at this cult. Flag worship, armed forces and truthfully “everyone else is for destruction” is eerily resonant of watchtower`s brand of vitriol.
Jerry.
My husband and I both have our own computers, next to each other and while he was playing solitaire this morning, I followed your suggestion Cedars, and asked if he had ever heard of the Westboro Baptist Church and he hadn’t remembered so I reminded him that it’s that church that pickets funerals etc. and asked said something like “here’s a documentary about that church and do you want to listen to it?” and he sounded a little interested so while he was playing solitaire, I minimized my computer screen and played the first documentary. Normally, if I even suggest anything that might in the least sound bad about the Org. he closes his mind and ears immediately but he sat there and listened to almost the entire documentary before leaving for his doctor’s appointment. At times, I could tell he was uncomfortable and at other times we laughed out loud at how silly they sounded but it did open up a dialogue about their sincerity. I thought those people are sincere and my husband thought that they wanted the things that they were saying to be true but didn’t necessarily think they were sincere. He’s at his doctor’s appointment now, but maybe it might make him think and compare? I was so sure that he wouldn’t even consider watching or listening to the documentary, but if we follow the suggestion on how to approach it, it is much more likely to work. Thanks Cedar.
Great feedback, I’m so glad your husband watched the WBC documentary with you! :)
:-) it’s like watching ants lol:-) hate bullies and the super righteous. ‘Hey my friend dig this sh*t with me please’. . ‘Sorry I’m Holy couldn’t possibly. Do as I say’.
Didn’t matter anyhow just wanted to know. Cheers anyhow.
What a lovely husband:-)
That was to anonymous. x
Gary, I wouldn’t exactly say he’s “lovely” but right now he thinks I have been snatched by the devil and it would be so nice if he could see it’s not me but him….
Lloyd,
I agree with this tactic. One of the ways I deprogrammed myself after leaving was by watching documentary after documentary about other cults and highly controlled groups. One of the biggest things that helped to release the grip of my indoctrination was seeing that in every one of these groups, from the most extreme to the less extreme, the tactics used were the same, and the way the people felt upon attempting to leave was the same. Another great help was this article in the New Yorker about Paul Haggis who left Scientology, and I especially related to these quotes, even if Scientology is way weirder than JWs, it’s a different version of the same thing:
“I asked him if he felt that he had finally left Scientology. “I feel much more myself, but there’s a sadness,” he admitted. “If you identify yourself with something for so long, and suddenly you think of yourself as not that thing, it leaves a bit of space.” He went on, “It’s not really the sense of a loss of community. Those people who walked away from me were never really my friends.”
and
“I was in a cult for thirty-four years. Everyone else could see it. I don’t know why I couldn’t.”
(Highly recommend this article: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/02/14/the-apostate-3)
Thanks so much Amber! It’s nice to have a living example of the effectiveness of this approach. I too can highly recommend the Lawrence Wright article that you’ve posted about to our readers, as well as the book on Scientology that it spawned – “Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood and the Prison of Belief” http://www.amazon.com/Going-Clear-Scientology-Hollywood-Prison/dp/0307700666
This Westboro Baptist Church video of Louis Theroux had me laughing my head off. They are so extreme they are hilarious – they are almost likeable in their fanaticism. I could not take them seriously.
Its all insideous, if i try to talk to anybody, i just get the sut down, oh you need to read the bible, My father died last year, he wasnt a wittness, my mum is now dying of cancer & is clinging to, “i will survive through the GT”, i told her that ever since she got the “Truth” in the early 70’s, she has lived her life like it was going to happen tomorrow, & based on that they are now left with nothing, were as normal people have bought homes, worked & created a future for their families (Materialistic i know) & i told her i’m not doing that, because its a great big lie, it makes me sick, but at least i have learnt, yes i am still trapped by threat of being shunned but i can do that, thanks for the post
Warren,
Having lost my own father to cancer I can really sympathise with what you are going through right now.
I wish you well with dealing with your poor Mum’s cancer, and I know that you will find ways to show unconditional love to her in the time you have left together.
Peace be with you
Excelsior!
anonymous,
Great news, dear Lady! I hope that this may be the start of your husband being able to understand your point of view.
I wish you all the luck in the world in waking your husband.
Peace be with you
Excelsior!