Jaden - a boy with autism being raised as a JW, as featured in the October JW Broadcasting episode
Jaden – a boy with autism being raised as a JW, as featured in the October JW Broadcasting episode

When I became a father I was so excited about raising a child. I eagerly awaited the arrival of my son and when he joined our family I immediately fell in love all over again. It was an amazing journey raising him through infancy and early childhood.

When he was a toddler I noticed there was something extremely different about him, but I could not put my finger on it. It was his preschool teacher that helped me understand what was happening. She’d observed what appeared to her as “sensory processing” problems.

The environment of a structured preschool socially overwhelmed him. He would not interact with the other children and he was always found doing his own thing away from others. He was kind of trapped inside his own little world.

Social situations overstimulated him to the point where he’d have to sooth himself with various hand motions in front of his face. Slowly, over time, he joined the group and preschool became a therapy for him in all kinds of ways that he was developmentally behind with.

My wife and I decided to have him checked and what we got back was the diagnoses of “high functioning Autism.” Autism can be an extremely frightening word for a parent, and the term hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew something was wrong, so part of me was relieved that we now had a direction to go in and didn’t have to guess anymore.

I’m very glad that my family were not Jehovah’s Witnesses through that part of my life. I cannot imagine trying to get to meetings, stay at meetings and go out in regular field service while having a child with special needs. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to take him to stadiums full of 10,000 people where they all clap simultaneously to someone speaking on a loud PA.

That, I can safely say, would be absolute hell.

Apparently, that’s exactly what families are doing according to the October 2015 JW Broadcasting episode (53:45). It features a testimony given by a young boy who happens to have the same diagnosis as my son.

Not the whole picture

The video is well produced and directed, and has a very effective soundtrack. The boy tells the story about how being a Jehovah’s Witnesses is “easy,” but didn’t use to be. At first being Autistic was extremely difficult, both for him and his parents, but over time things got better and he ended up loving his life as a Jehovah’s Witness.

I must admit the boy seems genuinely content with his life, but the producers of the film are not telling you the whole story. The boy recalls that, at first, the congregation didn’t understand his issues, but then he goes on to say:

“The friends in the congregation have helped me by doing whatever they need to do to help me stay on the road to life.”

When you read the above statement just as words on a screen, away from the rich production, they come across totally differently. In the video there are light chimes and a spirited piano melody playing in the background. Strip away all that, and it’s easier to see the true state of affairs.

His congregation believes in a scenario where their deity would brutally execute an Autistic boy for not being a Jehovah’s’ Witness. That’s why they are helping him, because they see him as being in grave danger.

This amounts to phobia indoctrination, and is tantamount to coercion by way of emotional control. In other words, they are using the fear of an imminent and painful death to retain his membership in their religion.

The very next scene shows the boy and his mother at a desk with one of the JW.org comic strips laid out next to a self-typed report. This really shows that the comics are not mere leisure activities, but are actually study tools for the young Witness children.

These comics sometimes cover stories in the Bible with extremely graphic content, such as their comic on the story of Lot’s wife and her divine execution. The pictures they use to depict her death are extremely graphic and intense.

Instead of being simple fables, these stories are considered to be historical accounts that are taken extremely seriously. No doubt the Autistic boy in the film has studied these images, and is deeply affected by them.

Using fear in this manner is no way to raise any child, let alone one with special needs.

Only a matter of time

Even though the video really does have this depressing feel to it, there is a silver lining to the story. No matter how hard the Watchtower tries to control the information their membership takes in, they can’t control it all. Because of the time that this Autistic boy lives in, he will no doubt one day encounter the other side of the story. He will find his way to the ex-JW’s.

High functioning Autistic people are often highly logical and have a knack for critical thinking. There is one thing that the organization is lacking severely: logic. Their doctrines don’t make sense, and as this child grows up he will undoubtedly see this.

There are so many plot holes in the story that the Watchtower tells about itself. There are so many questions they leave unanswered or half-answered. Once this boy encounters the truth about the “Truth,” it will all likely start to click for him, and he will leave. Unfortunately, as ex-JW’s know, this experience doesn’t come without a price, and is never easy.

Better options

If you are a parent with an Autistic child, and you are a Jehovah’s Witness or considering joining, I urge you to proceed with extreme caution. Watchtower is an organization with a history of exploiting children for their own gain. And judging by this new video, they are not above targeting children with special needs and their families.

In my experience there is a lot of support available for families who are caring for children with special needs. There are a lot of people out there who want to help, and don’t employ undue influence, like group shunning or phobia indoctrination.

One of the most important things you can do is create a strong support system of people who will be with you through the good times and the bad. The worst thing you could do is surround yourself with people who love conditionally, impair critical thinking and are constantly obsessing over the end of the world.

 

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130 thoughts on “The Friday Column: Jehovah’s Witnesses – a safe group for children with Autism?

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:11 am
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    The Jehovah’s Witnesses have no room for mistakes. Unless the autistic person is obedient, they will abandon these children.

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:26 am
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    I can recall while growing up in the truth similar families. At assemblies and conventions single moms who had children with clear disabilities and how miserable an experience it was for the kids and the parent’s. I remember seeing the same few families struggling with kids every spring and fall – until they slowly all but disappeared (I assume faded away or left by choice or kicked out.) Looking back it makes me sad to think how annoyed people would be around them since they were causing a ruckus. And how sad some single mom with a child with special needs was grasping onto some hollow idea that this was the answer to all their problems. It really breaks my heart that simple broken people are easy prey for the JW’s in the ministry. They see what appears to be smart, well spoken, clean dressed people expressing an interest and with a good message and they cling to it. I mean this in the nicest way – but lets be honest here. Whenever you met a new bible study it rarely was a college grad, a dr, a lawyer or someone established. It was often poor, uneducated, borderline mental health sufferers themselves. The ones who answered for the first time at a meeting and you just wanted to slide under your chair and die lol!
    But this article is spot on that the one size fits all approach the JWs have. But guess what. It doesn’t. A child with disabilities shouldn’t be in a crowded stadium. What is even scarier to me is the idea that boy in the video gets baptized then gets disfellowshipped. What happens to him then? Makes my head spin.

    • November 13, 2015 at 9:47 am
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      When I was an Elder there was a person who started coming to the Kingdom hall. He was a full grown adult of maybe 50 years old. He was obviously not mentally normal, although he lived on his own in his former parents home. He needed help from many different Angles.He eventually got baptized and would go out in FS.I worked with him a few times also. The long story short he needed hewlp in his life from all angles, He needed a rides to the meetings, shopping, cleaning etc also needed help making proper financial decisions. A friend of his Bible study took him out a few times and he ended up doing something that got him disfellowshipped! The brothers would not help him anymore.The dropped him like a lead balloon. No more help, no more love, no more visits etc. One night I was driving home in a blistering cold night and I saw him at a Bus stop and I stopped and gave him a ride home. He was still rambling about how he did not want to be destroyed at Armageddon to me. I asked id anyone visited him ever? he said No.
      I felt bad for him and told him to call me for help. Which he did and I would help him and give him a ride, buy groceries etc. There was No HELP from the Elders or Congregation at all. The only help they ever gave him was a ride to the memorial he told me. I felt so bad for this person. Even his neighbors told him his Church was no good for kicking him out and abandoning him and his neighbors wer ewe from the Middle east and were in disbeleif that they just dropped him like that. Yet his mind was still in fear of being destroyed at Armageddon? Wow!
      He wanted to get married and was easily taken advantage off by outsiders. Eventually a Foriegn Young Africa Woman married him tot ake advantage of the fact that he owned a small home and he was a Vet and she would be able to take advantage of some of his veteran benefit and Soc security payments. She rally stayed at his house as she had another apartment she would not give up bc she was getting government aid.He always told me I hope she comes back and lives with me? I told him MArk,…, she does not love you she just wants your belongings and future widowers pension. It is a sad story and the way he was just cut -off and as a mentally handicapped person in need they did nothing to help him but let “worldly” people take advantage of him and steal whatever he has.THis is what JW and the WT teach their people to do. Where is the love of the true religion?

      • November 13, 2015 at 11:24 am
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        That is such a sad story but one I guarantee has played out in other Halls. It is hard for me to type this as I feel I am picking on people – but it would be worthy of an article to talk about the high percentage of JW’s who had mental health issues that stayed in the organization or were enlisted from the preaching work. Back in my hall I swear there was one Looney for every normal brother or sister. A typical person that fits that description is someone who always bashes the Catholics in their comments, doesn’t have a family anymore, suffers from depression, probably overweight, needs help getting around, goes out in service with the Pioneers just to be dead weight in the back of the car, is on assistance from the government etc. My old hall was full of people like this. Yet before I was awake these were the people who were always the first at the hall and the last to leave – hardly ever missed a meeting. It truly was their entire little world and universe. I always felt unworthy as I would do anything to stay at home and watch Seinfeld or the Office then trudge to the hall on a Thursday night. But now having fully awakened I cant imagine shattering their world with the truth about the truth. I cant imagine a person who has given up everything and is in their 60’s could suddenly pick up where they left off. That is one thing that I have come to terms with is that the elders and JW’s as a whole are not evil. But the organization has turned into this entity with its own agenda that’s so misguided that the rank and file keep it going and hurt others and don’t even realize it. It’s the saddest con I have ever seen. You have people who are conned conning other people! Reread that sentence. Its sad! I remember a sister in my old hall – she was brought in during her hippie years. And of course her family opposed her so she cut off all contact. She has been on government assistance ever since. She is now alone in a tiny apartment in her 60’s. She is the classic loveable looney – makes off the wall comments – praises new light and the increase in numbers. And spends all her time writing letters to people in the obituaries. 40+ years wasted for nothing. It kills me.

        • November 16, 2015 at 6:02 am
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          I can definitely attest to this comment because there was a brother in one of my old hall’s who fit the above description well. He was so mentally off after a bad accident that the self control center in his brain shut off. My wife is a therapist in the hospital and works with traumatic brain injury patients all the time. Some just lose their filter wholesale. This brother would grope the sisters in the back seat and get smacked repeatedly until the brothers decided he could only work with other brothers. More one size fits all foolishness. Well he eventually did something that got him disfellowshipped. This was someone who was utterly dependant on other people for the same things. Shopping, rides to the meeting, rides to the doctor. He felt the same way. In his barely able to speak tone wondering about his future. He was constantly depressed when he was in. As a disfellowshipped person it was exponentially worse. TERRIBLE tragedy for any who fall victim to this. The witnesses are totally oblivious to the damage. They think it’s “loving”.
          I also appreciate your comment about Catholic bashing. Their favorite pastime. It reminds me that Tony Morris is one of those witnesses you described. His comments during the annual meeting reflect that.

          • November 16, 2015 at 8:42 am
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            I know we can probably all attest to at least a dozen crazy kooks that we used to not only attend the hall with but also find ourselves at a door with just hoping no one answers the door and sees me with this person! I think that was the worst of it, especially because I was a service overseer and when I visited book studies and made plans with the group for the week it was nothing but kooks lining up to work with me!!!! Oh if only I could have the years back…. 22-40… My best years wasted on a damn cult… My wife and I trapped 13 others in it as well and I now feel like dung for that… At least i got my wife, son and daughter out, with my oldest still trapped at Bethell who has no Idea we have left… Got my older brother and his and son out… Still another brother and his wife and daughter trapped.. I will work on my oldest son when he leaves Bethell in April or May which he has agreed to with to learn a “Trade”…

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:30 am
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    Thank you james, very insightful article. I have a cousin who is raising an autistic son and I thought of many of the things you mentioned in the article. The part that disturbs me is that everything the watchtower does is spun in such a way as to make them look like they are better than everyone else. In reality they are just another cult trying to indoctrinate followers with their misleading and false propaganda.

    • November 16, 2015 at 2:57 pm
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      I reckon the org are looking at autistic children as revenue because they will be pursuaded to give their money to the cause as many are not so savvy with their finances a cheap trick! ruthless

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:44 am
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    In january there is a watchtower study article that mentions a youngster giving a student talk and sobbing all the way through as he gives it. This bears out the above .showing the abuse of young children. I told my wife who is a keen jw that i will not be at that meeting with her as i would likely answer in the meeting and cause an upset . I have been fading out for some months now .woken up by the child molesting cover up i myself suffer from an inner ear condition which afects my balance when in areas of high noise and loud crowds . Last year i took my wife to the regional convention but had to use ear plugs or sit im the car .its no fun but you get no sympathy

    • November 13, 2015 at 10:46 am
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      @john freeman, Is this study article in the 1/16 magazine, or the isue to be studied in jan? What is the title. I can’t find it. I personally knew many children forced to give talks. Very shy, and emotional children.
      Made me sich. Why would someone put their child through this. Many poor readers, embarrassed by critical school elders.

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:45 am
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    I have a “classic” autistic child who is now 17. It has been miserable for him as well as myself to see him suffer during the meeting and conventions. When I felt like he was old enough to leave home alone I did…only to be ridiculed by my family and members in the congregation. Some told me that if I didn’t make him come he would be destroyed. Finally I started replying back that if Jehovah was that unmerciful I didn’t want anything to do with him. They have since stopped and my son is so much happier. I am still having to endure this painful cult until the rest of my family wakes up. Thank you James for writing this, I was extremely annoyed by the broadcast and cannot speak my mind without backlash from others.

    • November 16, 2015 at 2:59 pm
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      With love mimi a fellow mum with two and know the hell and pain our kids went through ruthlee

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:46 am
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    A few years ago at our Kingdom Hall, there was a young mother with a two year old very normal but rambunctious boy and she was about eight months pregnant and one night one of the nastier sisters at our hall, said to my husband after the Thursday night meeting within two rows of that sister “I don’t know why she’s having another baby when she can’t even take care of the one she’s already got?” That woman said that to my husband after the meeting.

    In our Kingdom Hall, every time a child would make any noise, she’d have to turn around and stare at the parents. The young mother that I was talking about here, was going to meetings by herself a lot of the time because her husband was disfellowshipped. Rarely did anybody ever offer to help her.

    When my kids were little, my husband was so paranoid about our kids making any noise at the meetings, (he was an elder and couldn’t help me with the kids during meetings) that he talked me into hitting their behinds with a wood spoon and the scripture he used to make me do that was about not spoiling a child but making them mind by using the rod, which was really promoted thirty years ago when my kids were little.

    Now days, I’d be thrown into prison for child abuse but it was the norm in the eighties around here. Is it any wonder that when my kids were growing up in the “truth” that they hated me?

    • November 13, 2015 at 9:55 pm
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      Beating children at the hall is still the norm in Spanish speaking congregations. Just a few weeks ago we had a speaker brag about how his skills with his belt produced polished servants of Jehovah. He left after his talk, I was definitely going to have words with him. My fiancée tells me about a circuit overseer named Rubalcava from the Chicago area where she’s from that would make it a regular thing to remind parents to beat their kids into submission and sitting still. As a result torturous screams of pain coming from children being whooped in the bathroom are a regular thing all across Chicago Kingdom Halls.

      • November 14, 2015 at 4:56 pm
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        Robert, one of the last times I was at my Kingdom Hall, a mother with a little girl about one and half, was a believer in spanking her kids and when her little girl would make noise, the mom would take her in the bathroom and spanked her really hard (just like I did with my kids).

        The little girl would get so hysterical that she wouldn’t calm down and I could tell sometimes that she was having panic attacks and couldn’t even catch her breath.

        One time I was sitting at the back of the hall and I could hear the little girl screaming and screaming so I went to the bathroom and offered to hold her for the mom who couldn’t calm her down and I took her back to the auditorium and sat down with her and started petting the top of her head like you’d pet a cat and her eyes started getting sleepy and she went right to sleep and slept through the rest of the meeting, but I will never forget the look on that little girl’s face when after the meeting, she woke up and I gave her back to her mom.

        Even being just one and half, she had the look of hatred for her mom in her little eyes.

        • November 15, 2015 at 8:42 am
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          There is a sister in our hall who told me she wore big rings to hit her children with if they misbehaved. She said her mother did the same to her. Another younger sister takes her daughter out and beats her because that’s what her mother did to her also.

          • November 15, 2015 at 9:00 am
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            I remember at district assemblies with so many parents in the hallway walking their bored and tired children during the sessions and my husband would always make disparaging comments about those parents who were just too “lazy” to discipline their kids to sit during the sessions and then he’d always add that those people were using their kids as an “excuse” to get up and walk around during the meetings.

            Those assemblies are torture for little kids, having to sit in one spot for 3 solid days, with no place to move around and having to sit through hours and hours of boring talks that they can’t even understand.

            At least some of those parents who were walking their kids around in the hallway during the talks had some compassion for their kids. Maybe some of those parents do use their children as an excuse to not have to sit there for 3 solid days, but why not?

            Those talks are boring and we didn’t learn anything new anyway. It’s always the same thing we had heard hundreds and thousands of times before, only served up at a bigger place, is all.

            Now, reading some of the experiences of those who have given their own personal “experiences” at the assemblies that weren’t their experiences after all is eye opening.

            It takes me back to the couple at the summer district convention who Lloyd featured in an article not so long ago, who were so proud of themselves that they didn’t talk to their disfellowshipped son and even admitted that the only reason he came back into the “truth” was because his parents wouldn’t talk to him. It wasn’t because he missed Jehovah but it was only because he missed his family.

          • November 16, 2015 at 7:59 pm
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            Hi Caroline,
            Repitition and boredom.Those are Classic indoctrination techniques. The course is designed just for that. I am currently reading Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill. The techniques used both on children and adults are astonishingly similar to that of JW.

        • November 18, 2015 at 4:48 am
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          That was a truly loving action, Caroline. I respect you so much for having the courage to show a different way of living to that little girl and her mother. You never know, your actions may be resonating now, as the memory of kindness and compassion stays within that little girl — and maybe even her mother.

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:58 am
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    When I lived in the Sacramento CA area I remember hearing about a family in the neighboring town of Eldorado Hills that had two kids and seemed like your typical witness family. Meetings, service, gatherings and vacations. Turns out they had a child with Autism, the rumor mill didn’t know what level and it was when this condition was really becoming more talked about in the 2000s.

    So turns out this family decided that”it would be better for the child” to be institutionalized because he was requiring too much time and energy and they needed to “focus on the preaching work”, and since the end was coming soon Jehovah would fix him and make it all better so no worries. I remember people talking about it like this made perfect sense and yet no one stopped to think about why this couple would then go on to have two more children and live their lives like this other child didn’t exist. It really made me see how messed up this cult could make your thinking.

    • November 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm
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      I have a 24yo autistic son. It was horrible at the hall.
      I have been inactive for 4 years. My wife is a third generation witness with roots to the center of the earth. Those parents should be ashamed. Just because theyre autistic doesnt mean they don’t understand love.
      SICK SELFISH PEOPLE

    • November 16, 2015 at 3:03 pm
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      DavidR this made my heart bleed i know of a similar case near where i lived. How can they just throw away the child for nuisance sake. I thought it was better to go one eyed into the kingdom not abdicate responsibility for your god given gift and go put hours on a sheet. ruthlee

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:12 am
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    For safety and honesty the JWs is the least likely place where one will find security. I have been around this organization and they put people into holds where one cannot virtually breathe. One must up hold their truths which are not truths but lies to propagate their beliefs..
    Imagine an autistic child being sexually abused? The dynamics of that scenario is mind boggling. Have these elders and ministerial servants had enough of their abuse of children? When will they stop? Our courts here in the USA will put a huge damper on this organization. Wait till they lose their tax exempt status. You should see that bill being sent out to every one in the US government and the United Nations. Time is what we have. Time will tell.

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:33 am
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    Fantastic article James, really never thought of the challenges an autistic child would face with the JW doctrine. That image of the child against the wall speaks volumes.

    • November 16, 2015 at 3:13 pm
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      Robert67 i dont usually reply to you. Here goes I do like your thoughts because you have respect for god and still believe. However this is where i find religious people do fall down they don,t think about the challenges our children face .Going in fs is hell for EVERYONE no one gains anything it’s not good or productive and “normal”j dubs are no help whatsoever. Doctrine is a joke as we don’t believe so how do some of those with challenges understand .What they do understand is fear and death at armageddon that lovely carrot dangled on a daily basis. there is no love and kindness not really from religiosos because they only have the concept of a god for mentally sound people there is no place for those who are not the full shilling. I,m not taking a pop at you rob67 just that most elders i have come across really have no clue hope you understand cheers ruthlee

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:40 am
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    As a life long jw, with children and grandchildren. I would say organizationally, children make us uncomfortable. Adults with children ( who are still children ) are not part of the 10,000+bethel family globally, nor involved as c.o’s, missionarys, Christian evangelizers, .ect, ect…why is that? …doctors, presidents, generals, pilots, c.e.o’s, judges, ect, ect all can do the job while raising a family. But not any brother/ sister, in official watchtower employment. We also like children to be seen but not heard, we love photo opportunities, especially if they look and act like mini adults. In another word’s, the concept of having children is NOW ok (keep in mind, we have time and again put out the call for the loyal jws to stop having children, the most recent was in the late 1980s), the reality is less liked.

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:49 am
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    I have Asperger’s syndrome and was brought up as a JW. And I have suffered under there indoctrination and phobias. I am now 50 years old and still suffer from there indoctrination. The so called normal people who leave the cult seem to make an easier transition into the world, taking on new beliefs and making a new life and friends. It is not like that for people with Asperger’s syndrome or high functioning autism. Generally people with Asperger’s syndrome will believe anything you tell them as there critical thinking is impaired right off the bat. They don’t stand a chance and the anxiety it causes us is immense.
    People with special needs get taken advantage of at the best of times let alone in a controlling cult like the Jehovah witness.
    I dread to think of how many Autistic JW’s there are being made to suffer under the control of this evil cult
    I think I need to tell my story on Youtube I just need to build up the courage.
    Thankyou for covering this subject there should be more of it

    • November 15, 2015 at 3:06 pm
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      Clive, You are doing awesome. Thank you

    • November 15, 2015 at 3:41 pm
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      Clive, if you make that YouTube video, please post a link to it. I think it could be beneficial for you and others here. I’m struck by the high number of regulars on this site who have been personally affected by the mistreatment of people with developmental disorders within the Org.

      Thanks again to James, for writing a powerful article that resonated with so many here.

    • November 16, 2015 at 3:18 pm
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      Dear clive write it, publish it ,you tube it. Tell us your story we need you and your understanding. You will be of great value to all of us because some of us are in a quagmire of confusion and pain living the hell life in the org. If you are brave enough to publish your story there will be quite a few here who will listen to what you have to say. Best wishes and kind thoughts to you ruthlee

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:51 am
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    I know this family and their story.

    Of course, the real story is much less cozy than the JW broadcasts’ portrayal.

    For example, the congregation that Jaden was in when he started showing clear signs of autism (like screaming in pain when people clapped) was not supportive. The “elders” told his parents that they were not disciplining Jaden enough.

    It was bad enough that they left that cong., and years later they still called the presiding overseer from that time their “persecutor”.

    I hope that they really are in a supportive group now, but that was not their experience previously.

    Also, Jaden’s was involved in an intensive therapy for autism called the Son-Rise program. In his case, this therapy was extremely effective and seems to be the reason that he is so high functioning.

    You will notice that there was, of course, no mention of this therapy, in spite of it having been a key part of Jaden’s life and progress.

    Anyway, just a few tidbits…

    • November 13, 2015 at 10:55 am
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      Hi Queequeg I wonder if we know eachother? :)

      Everyone is this broadcast is from a congregation in Southern Oregon, USA. This is actually the second time a broadcast has had experiences from a congregation in this area. As someone that faded and knew this family maybe the next broadcast should tell the story of the kids uncle and his wife. He was a standout JW. Pioneer, former Bethelite. Until he learned TTATT. He and his wife are now free of this cult but being actively shunned by everyone in this video. What a touching story. Barf!

      Or maybe they could tell the story of the boys Grandfather who is featured in this video later. I love that they put his title below his name. He is the “Congregation Secretary” what a noble position! Again Barf! This “Gift in Men” tore his previous congregation apart. I won’t go into specifics but he was the PO in my hall at the time and he did something improper that half the congregation wanted him removed for the other half didn’t. He was removed as an elder and when he left the hall he took a large portion of hall with him to his next congregation. He quite literally divided the congregation. But I guess that isn’t causing a division quite like privately questioning the GB is right? Barf.

      It’s so sad they are exploiting Jaden. Hopefully one day his uncle can reach out to him and he will get to make an informed decision.

      • November 13, 2015 at 11:01 am
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        It wouldn’t surprise me if we do know each other.

        Nice additional info. too!

      • November 13, 2015 at 8:45 pm
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        I recognized a formed acquaintance as well, and assume that the “bethel box scene” was staged in Oregon. It’s like any assembly or convention experience I’ve ever been a part of, more concerned with effect than authenticity. You rehearse the lines and are questioned by the interviewer on stage and have “your story” tweaked 20 or 30 times; only to be adjusted once again by the C.O. during the final rehearsal. Eventually, you hardly recognize your own story once you’re telling it. But I believe that to be the whole point, loss of identity. I just can remember feeling so conflicted and awkward being congratulated for experiences which were fabrications of the Elder and C.O. True concessions of a JW childhood star!!! Next on entertainment tonight.

    • November 13, 2015 at 12:01 pm
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      They left out the fact that he had received helpful professional therapy? You mean just watching Caleb &Sophia videos wasn’t the magic pill?

    • November 13, 2015 at 12:51 pm
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      Thank you so much for the information!

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:54 am
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    I tried to leave a comment about that part of the video after reading Lloyd’s article, but I was just too angry and upset and couldn’t find the words. I still don’t think I can talk too much about my experience, as it brings back terrible memories, but suffice to say that I was castigated by the school and my neighbours because they blamed my son’s Aspergus behaviour on me for being a JW. Whereas the JW congregation labelled me a bad mother and bad witness because of his condition. My heart goes out to anyone who has to put up with that kind of ignorance.

    • November 16, 2015 at 3:23 pm
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      Can i just send you love and empathy it is so hard isn’t it but just writing your experience helps and we love you forestdaughter.Because ive been there and like you i cannot always speak of it emotions run too deep keep going thats what im trying to do. all the best .ruthlee

  • November 13, 2015 at 12:00 pm
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    Funny how we can pluck the “no blood” mandate from the Law yet Exodus 22:22 and prohibition on eating shrimp or lobster and wearing mixed fabrics flies right on by 7DA and JW’s.

    My experience with JW’s is that charity stops at the KH threshhold (even in rural and smalltown, and Middle America)–not literally, but in terms of mentality. If a person with needs is not “interested” or “active,” the charity provision ceases unless that person had a track record that made them seemingly a popular pillar of the congregation. Furthermore, because someone with mental processing abilities or autism (let’s not even cover Turets Syndrome) may not be convenient at social gatherings, the bias in some individuals, and usually those with the greatest impact on socialization inside the congregation–elders, relatives of the elders, or the ones they brought across the threshhold [yeah, like vampires], causes these to create a social strata that excludes the inconvenient and odd individuals.

    Poor, autistic and in some cases where “white” still rules the population count, ethnic members who haven’t become quite as WASP-y as desired, can find themselves outside the social circles–invitations to formal events don’t count and friendly smiles after you get into the KHall also don’t count. Are you getting friendly calls just to chit-chat? or, “hey I’m going on this ___, do you want to come with?” or, even a simple “hey come on over for a casual bite to eat”. “Going for coffee–and, I got you a cup, too!” Texting? Nada?

    In my experience those outside the “social close-knit” circle were the first ones to find themselves kicked out. And, there’s a simple explanation. If I’m not IN your JW social circles, I am left to form my own ties–probably with persons in my neighborhood, school, or work. So, the first nosey JW that drops by and sees me associating with “worldly” and “bad associations” drops a dime on me to the elders and I’m in the little room in the back defending why I made my choices, which comes off as “unrepentant” and “defiant”. Boom! [yes, that’s the hammer of kangaroo justice coming down]

    But, let’s also note that autistic and mentally challenged children would be at risk in an environment that is KNOWN to shelter and go out of its way to ASSIST pedophiles away from prosecution.

    What I consider this to be are those JW’s who think being godly requires matching a form and fashion of outwardly appearances, yet to quote Him, “on the inside as corrupt as graves”.

  • November 13, 2015 at 12:50 pm
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    My observations when I used to attend meetings:

    -anyone who was different or special needs and who “did not fit the witness mold” – generally not part of the social circle

    -parents with small children at the meetings who did not sit still and quiet were not tolerated – icy stares given to them and in some cases they were talked to by the elders. I always felt sorry for the single parents or mothers or fathers who would take their children to the back of the hall just because the child was just being a child perhaps laughing or crying or gurgling or trying to get comfortable on some very uncomfortable chair.

    -single parents or individuals who did not have spouses that attended the meetings – generally treated politely but usually excluded from social circles.

    So basically the congregations were really platforms for the ones who appeared to be spiritually strong – who had more hours in the service, who were always on the stage showing what a perfect witness family was supposed to look like.

    For those who were different there was really no love no kindness no compassion and ultimately no time available. For many parents with a child who had special needs it could be truly a hostile environment.

    But Jesus loved all children and all people – Too bad the witness religion has not followed his example.

    • November 13, 2015 at 2:18 pm
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      my husband did not attend, I was never included in social circles, neither were any of my children, they are considered bad association. Always pressured to try and get someone to study with my husband or children, always an outcast. Every time a talk about marrying only in the lord certain people would turn and give me looks. Even before, when I was a child/teenager I was never really included, not part of the circle. I was different, my parents were extremely strict, no one wanted to come to my house. It was a lonely existence for me. I would try to have a sleep over or party and maybe 2 people would come, others had parties and everyone went. The proclaim love, but many of us never really felt it, and I definitely didn’t see it.

      • November 13, 2015 at 4:20 pm
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        Thank you for providing your experience.

        In my opinion, a religion, a congregation is supposed to be a harbor for all individuals. It is supposed to be accepting and welcoming and provide refuge for those that it need it the most. More importantly it is supposed to provide all members with a feeling of inclusion and give them comfort and happiness.

        So many have provided experiences of the witness religion providing them with the exact opposite. No wonder so many have left and no wonder so many that are still in are becoming disillusioned.

    • November 15, 2015 at 3:11 pm
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      That comment is so true about the meetings being platforms for the spiritually strong, who had lots of hours in field service and had the perfect family, with the quiet obedient children, who sat at the front of the hall like proud peacocks. My family could never live up to this.

      Our children were 4 and 6 when we decided to take the plunge. Our daughter found it extremely hard to comform to the shape that the Watchtower wanted her to be. She struggled so hard with meetings and I would be expected to take her outside and wack her for this, which I hated doing. My children were just different. Actually, they were just typically children in the 80’s. They loved playing, enjoyed reading their little books (which I was quickly told not to being the the meetings) and needed time to do their own thing as children do. They never got this free time as all the other children did not either.

      I would watch one particular mother take her toddler outside with her hand across her mouth so that no sound escaped. Goodness knows what kind of cruelty went on in that household.

      When I was studying, a ‘perfect’ Witness mother came along with the woman who was studying with me. She was extremely strict with her little 3 year old daughter. I could not help noticing. When I questioned her discipline, she promptly told me that she had smacked her children from the time they were 6 weeks old. Can you imagine that? I certainly couldn’t. What possible reason could you have for hitting a six week old baby? Misguided child abuse reigns supreme with these people. The woman I was studying with, assured me later that this girl with the child was unusually strict. I heard later her husband was a pedophile. Strange family set up there. The poor child.

      And as far as exclusion is concerned, our family was certainly excluded. We were seen as some kind of threat because we came in out of the world. Somehow, everything we did was wrong and yet we were following the guidelines of what the Watchtower was telling us in trying to have a simple life.

      While I was watching this video which went with the article, which is very interesting by the way, I could not help noticing the crap which was being said about how tiresome life was as an ordinary normal person. It was so evil to see them create this reverse way of thinking. Total brainwashing and absolute control by making people feel guilty about having a normal job that paid enough to live on and enough for the occasional holiday. What the hell is wrong with that?

      I could not finish watching it anymore as it made me sick to my stomach. Good job James for bringing this video out. It was an eyeopener for me. Watchtower in full disgusting colours. Just as I always remembered it.

  • November 13, 2015 at 2:05 pm
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    My son has Autism and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Life was very difficult for me the first seven years of his life. Meetings were impossible, the music, clapping, too many people, he would scream the entire time. He screamed most of the night the first four years of his life, never slept more than 2 hours at a time and I also worked. I was exhausted so basically disappeared. My family was supportive in the fact that they watched him while I was at work, he would not go to anyone else, Daycare was out of the question. But no one, and I mean no one ever gave me any kind of help at all. When we were finally able to get a diagnosis, and learn about Autism I realized that if I most likely have it as well, and I think that is why my parents and the WT had such a tight hold over me for so long, the fear instilled in me from birth was what kept me coming to the meetings, kept me from asking questions, kept me from even allowing myself to think about the things I noticed that bothered me. But a series of events happened and I woke up, abruptly. I am so glad I did not force my son to endure meetings that traumatized him. I did not indoctrinate him with fear, only love. Did not make a child who gets severely car sick sit in a vehicle for hours out in field service- like I was made to do. I pioneered out of high school and would be so ill after a couple of hours, but you have to get those hours in…. I have seen handicapped persons of all sorts baptized and then abruptly disfellowshipped and shunned by their family. I knew I could never do that to my children, it was one of the things that held me back after I became a mother. I watched this video about Jaden and it upset me so deeply I started crying, my husband watched it and he was so angry he couldn’t even talk about it. The picture in the article of Jaden standing alone, that was me, that was my brother, that would be my son if I hadn’t stopped the cycle. I see pain and suffering in this boys face and words. Thanks WT, for giving me one more reason to know I did the right thing and walk away.

    • November 13, 2015 at 6:04 pm
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      you sound like a wonderful mother..so glad you escaped! its tough but so worth it!

    • November 13, 2015 at 10:00 pm
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      You absolutely did the right thing

  • November 13, 2015 at 2:16 pm
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    Nice article James,
    I remember being a young kid at a meeting and noticing someone that seemed off to me. She was a middle aged lady. She was making noise during a meeting,(obvious to me now that she had mental issues or turrets or something along those lines) and was eventually ushered out of the kingdom hall by the elders. When I asked my mother what was wrong with her, mom stated, very emphatically, “oh she is possessed by the devil.”
    Even at a very young age, that comment seemed very illogical, especially since my mother hadn’t even spoke to this person or knew them, but yet was willing to throw them away due to her paranoia.
    ignorance breeds ignorance, and ignorance is all that it taught in JW cult.

  • November 13, 2015 at 4:42 pm
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    My three grandchildren are on the spectrum. One classic autism, one asperchick, and one autism with pda. I am soooooo glad that they are not being forced to sit through a meeting. Or assemblies. All three have sensory issues, with smells, noise and texture. None of them like being touched and hate people talking to them. One cannot talk and make rather loud sounds. One cannot stop talking, even in loud whispers. The third one sometime becomes a cat for hours on end, and I mean hours (especially under stress, it is her coping strategy) she meows constantly and rubs herself against your legs. Can you imagine them being used in the theocratic school. The non verbal would sit and appear to be listening to the one who was talking him under the table, while the cat meows and purrs away. The horrible reality is that in fact their poor parents would probably spend most of their time deflecting glares, that eventualy send them retreating into the back room. As it is they have their own faith. It is in each other. I am so proud to be an exjw.

  • November 13, 2015 at 5:46 pm
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    this story and the comments have really moved me. I know the stories are true, I have seen first hand the way congregations treat ones that act any differently than the “norm”. my heart went out to little jaden and yes i too believe he will use his critical thinking and get out of this cult one day. I hope he doesnt lose his family along with that but thats one of the cruel consequences of being a born in.

  • November 13, 2015 at 6:36 pm
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    Hi,
    Steven hassan mentioned in his book that generally cults dont recruit people who need special attention because they need people who can stand up to the grueling demands of cult life and it takes money , effort and time to assist these people. But how do the JW do this without any of the guys who recruit noticing ? I mean the guys who come on your doorstep wont some of them notice if the other guy was actively avoiding people with special needs.

  • November 13, 2015 at 7:44 pm
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    My job involes providing care and mentoring to those who are Autistic. One client I have had parents who were both involved with the religion. They no longer are and this individual I care for detests the time wasted in their involvement in this religion. People who have this condition think on a higher plain then we do and usually have high IQ levels. They see through all the indoctrination garbage and rightly so. Although lacking in social skill sets they sure make up for it in their intelligence.
    Some of the kindest most down to earth non judgemental people you will ever meet. I learn something new everyday being involved with their care.

  • November 13, 2015 at 8:13 pm
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    Thank you for this excellent article, James. I’m so glad for you that you got out of the Org in time to raise your child in a healthy way.

    Your points on this line especially grabbed me: “The friends in the congregation have helped me by doing whatever they need to do to help me stay on the road to life.”

    What a horrifying message, to be delivered in such a positive sounding way. How ironic, that the ones thinking they are helping are really the ones guilty of doing the most harm. And what a total abandonment of rational thought by Jehovah’s Witnesses, to think a God of Love is ready to pounce on even challenged children if they can’t fulfill all of their obligations as JW’s.

    Your point about autistic people often having a knack for critical thinking and logic was very interesting too. It’s eye-opening to realize that, in a congregation full of supposedly “normal” people, someone with a developmental disorder could very easily be the one who is most likely to see the flaws in the JW belief system. (I don’t mean that in a comical way.)

    I’m embarrassed to have lived so many years before my mind finally introduced itself to me. But now, discovering real truth is a wonderful thing. Thanks for your contributions toward that, James. I wish you, your wife and son all the best.

    • November 14, 2015 at 3:07 am
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      @jb. JB, I feel the same although I have been Faded for over 20 year snow the pain is still there in many ways from the abuse we all went through. Also some of my immediate family is still in and will not have a normal discussion and causes divisions etc. No freedom of speech or freedom of thought. I can see from this discussion this issue has brought up much pain and suffering many have gone through as JW’s past and present. I feel like I wasted my best years from 19-39 but I also learned a lot both good and bad during the process so I have to look at it from that point of view.I see and hear a lot of suffering from people reading this article from James and it brngs back bad memories but please remember all you good people as long as we are alive we can improve our situation and help others as well. Tie is also a healer and even if we are older now as some have stated we can still do good and help ourselves and others to see the truth and enjoy our lives. it isn’t always that easy but we need to start. We all have something in common her and we are all here to help in any way we can.

      • November 14, 2015 at 1:07 pm
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        Well said, Holy Connoli. I appreciate your positive and pragmatic approach to post-JW life. I also faded in my late 30’s, and wish I had that same time span back that you mentioned. But, as that’s impossible, it’s best to just settle on the goal of not teaching or believing anything harmful anymore, and trying to muster up as much positivity as my worn-out brain will allow. I’m glad we have a place like this. It does wonders to have people in your life who can relate to such a uniquely bizarre life experience. May we all witness the collapse of the Org together, and soon.

        • November 14, 2015 at 7:02 pm
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          Ajb. I still have part of my family in the WT ORg. It makes it difficult for us to talk with them. My wife is a true fanatic, She ius intelligent for sure but when it comes to THE wt she will not have a normal discussion. In fact we debate and argue all the time. 3 weeks ago she left me and much of it was over the WT and although we have been married 35 years she can justify it in her own mind bc she is a Pioneer and even though her ELDERS told her not to leave she says she wants her own space and to pioneer in peace? GO figure. So she moved out. A real good JW lol. She never worked just lived off of my investments and my income. Did not want to work bc the “END” is so near.You and I JB seem to be in the same age group. I am up in Northern California and lot’s of JW’s up here being “AWAKENED”. You will be OK JB. Try to open up and have different experiences and find other interests. We can never make up for the lost time but we can use the remaining time to make our life better and enjoy things we missed. What part of the country are you from?

        • November 15, 2015 at 11:11 am
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          I’m sorry to hear that about your wife, Holy Connoli. On second thought, it’s probably for the best, and you’re probably RELIEVED that it finally happened. Maybe there will be a little less contention and a little more peace in your life. I hope so.

          That’s great to hear about the progress of the REAL truth in your area. I think this thing might go exponential at some point. The one active friend I’m able to talk to about these things is very disturbed by many of the bizarre things going on in the Org these days (but still determined to “hang in there” with them).

          Thanks for your good advice. I’m a bit of a hermit, but I’ve made some normal-thinking friends online. You’re right, I’ll be okay.

          I’m way over here in Florida. You have some years on me. I’m mid-40’s, and faded about 6 years ago. Don’t let that fool you, though. I have the general disposition of a 99-year-old curmudgeon (just not on here, usually).

          • November 15, 2015 at 1:32 pm
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            JB & Holy C:
            Not to get too far off topic, but I am in the same boat as both of you, just a bit younger than JB. I woke up in my mid to late 30’s and have been faded for about 3 years. My wife is still in the JW cult. I am waiting for the day when things finally blow and she leaves. We still have minor children at home so that makes it hard to think about.

          • November 15, 2015 at 3:14 pm
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            You have my sympathy for your predicament, Winston. I’m glad you’re here. It’s a good place for support, and of course, all the articles here revealing one fumble after the other by the Org are GREAT for those of us needing to see it crumble. I hope one of their bizarre pronouncements catches your wife on the wrong day, and she see the cult for what it is. May that happen soon, my friend.

          • November 19, 2015 at 3:55 am
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            No way, JB Reezner. I must have missed that comment about your age. I just don’t think we have been talking as much as we were, which has nothing to do with anyone on here. I just have had to tend to other matters lately. And I do also appreciate all the other ones who regularly comment. If I named them all I would probably leave someone out and I don’t want to do that. It is so good to know that so many are waking up due to sites like this one.

        • November 15, 2015 at 3:26 pm
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          JB, now I know your age. You just gave yourself away. Ha ha. Trying not to sound too silly (everyone is a bit wary after the PB incident) but I caught you out. I thought you were in my vintage but you are not. Funny how we perceive people differently to how they really are. I guess it is because of the anonymity of the internet which creates a screen. Anyway, any age your comments are appreciated.

          • November 15, 2015 at 3:55 pm
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            Meredith, I’m so glad to hear from you. I was afraid a couple of different things recently might have put a wrinkle between us. You, Ruthlee, Tara and others mean a lot to me (whether y’all like it or not).

            Now if you’ll remember, I plainly stated to Grace awhile back that I was in my forties, but you came in and REFUSED to believe it, lol.

            It can be hard to guess people’s ages sometimes, but I would never consciously mislead anybody here about anything. I’m a fairly straightforward dude. (But I know you’re just poking fun at me a little.)

          • November 15, 2015 at 10:01 pm
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            Aw just read these through and I’m choked. I’m above the line in BC. Still in my 40’s… just (winces). Bit off topic but no one is reading previous topics… anyways I went to the ‘talk’ today – yawn… but prior to it an elder approached me and asked for my time… nope, had none to report. Then he told me an odd thing. said he had been to another meeting recently and that a local needs mentioned how people were being ‘laid off’. I was puzzled and asked what he meant. He said the local needs was on the brothers in Bethel being kicked out and having to rely on congregations to pick up the pieces. I was sort of taken back that he mentioned this but he went on to say about building work being stopped and how it all seemed odd to him. It was a really strange conversation so I just said yeah I had heard that bethelites were finding it hard going now because they had no money to fall back on and no pensions…. I mentioned James 2:16 about going in peace and keeping warm and well fed… of what use is it and he totally agreed. It was an odd conversation to say the least.
            You mean a lot to me to JB :) all of you do.

          • November 15, 2015 at 11:05 pm
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            That is very interesting behavior from that elder, Tara. I hope he is starting to question things, but I wouldn’t let on too much about what you know (and especially, how you know it). Witnesses can question the Org one day, and then do a complete reversal the next.

            The friend I sometimes mention here does that. It’s one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen. I’ll feel like we’ve made real progress, but then, the next time we talk, he’s ready to ride the JW chariot until the wheels fall off. But I know you’re being careful with how much you divulge.

            And thanks for that last bit. I was very glad to hear it :)

  • November 13, 2015 at 9:49 pm
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    Did anyone else notice the words and sentences the little boy was using was the exact language of not only an adult but also the same people that write all the publications? That is not how a young boy talks, especially one with autism. His wording was so perfectLy fitting what the GB’s message I though it was just a domonstration not a real life experience. So what you have is a poor autistic boy reading a script provided by the leaders of the cult telling everyone how the boy feels.

  • November 13, 2015 at 10:25 pm
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    Very interesting and well written article. I could related to this article, as my children were rarely included in social events in the congregation. They always felt left out. No love there.

  • November 14, 2015 at 3:15 am
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    An all too familiar story. I have a son with Tourette’s syndrome. He’s high functioning, for a while we thought he might be autistic. When we finally got a diagnosis it was treated like a real stigma in the congregation. Even more so when we had to take turns to miss the evening meeting because his symptoms would get worse at night after a long day at school when he was tired. To say nobody understood or cared is an understatement.

    And it’s not like this was the first time, no sir. He was diagnosed with a serious congenital heart condition in the womb and given a 50/50 chance of surviving birth. When we broke the news to our “brothers and sisters” I felt the congregation take a big step back, in anticipation of an impending disaster. He survived birth, but guess how many witnesses visited us at the hospital that week? The same as the amount of shepherding calls we got – zero.

    18 months later he had open heart surgery, a day long operation which successfully fixed his heart condition. He spent a week in ICU and we spent the week by his side. Guess how many visits we got that week? Yep – zero. Oh no, wait, the hospital chaplain dropped in and shared some comforting scriptures. I was an MS at the time and couldn’t help wonder where out shepherds were, not to mention our brothers and sisters. As we came into “the truth” from “the world” we had no family support; we were well and truly on our own. I was appointed as an elder shortly after, but in truth I never really got over that experience and we are well and truly out now.

    I’m happy to say that out child is a lot happier now, doing well at school, with friends who genuinely love him (unlike the kids at the Kingdom Hall who would avoid him like the plague.) And we are all the happier for spending our time with people and institutions who truly care and understand, rather than judge and condemn.

    • November 14, 2015 at 2:15 pm
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      Eric,

      What a terrible situation to be in. The only good thing that came out of it is that it set you free from this hypocritical religion. The lack of love & interest in others was what initially caused me to take a step back & look at the big picture. I’m happy for you that you are in a good place now.

      • November 14, 2015 at 2:53 pm
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        Thank you Grace. Yes, out of many difficult trials come positives too sometimes. I guess we learn something from everything. This experience, along with my experience as an elder which was even more traumatic (that’s another story – mostly a result of me speaking out against the society’s policy on child abuse), forced my eyes wide open, so I’m actually grateful for them in the end. I often joke with my wife that I walked away from that position a broken man – partly because I was diagnosed with PTSD and unable to work or even function some days, but mostly because I broke free from the cult, and took my family with me. We’re all in a much better place now, and I am finding healing thanks to sites like this and reading very everybody’s comments and experiences. I hope you’re in a good place too Grace. :)

  • November 14, 2015 at 4:21 am
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    James I need to process all the comments I have a lot to say in this subject and it is ALL scathing .I will be respectful to the other posters but i WILL NOT be holding anything back when it comes to the way my family have been treated with our autistic children. Our story needs a book in all honesty but some incidences of nasty unchristian behaviour i will post for all the world to read watch this space! However team i will understand if you block my comments because i am beyond angry with those jws and this is a pet subject bye for now reguards to all,simmering to boiling point ruthless/ruthlee

    • November 15, 2015 at 4:08 pm
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      Ruthlee, share what you need to share when you’re ready. I’m sure many of us here are very interested in reading it. We love you. (And I’m an *EX*jw, so I really do mean that.)

    • November 14, 2015 at 9:56 am
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      Yup, not too original of them. Love how they feel the need for a class picture over an image of their empire.

  • November 14, 2015 at 10:01 am
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    They are in because they are ignorant of the never ending stream of lies, false prophecies, cover ups and witch hunts on truth exposers.
    They are unaware that even the Goberning Body have admitted in court that they are just men who appoint themselves through a vote and are not the sole voice for God on Earth.
    They are unaware of all of these things because they’ve never read their Bibles and compared what their being told to do, with what the Bible actually says.
    Time for you to visit http://www.jwfacts.com

  • November 14, 2015 at 1:21 pm
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    True confessions of a JW childhood star:

    During my mid-teens I was asked to do a part on a convention program. I was given the questions that would be asked by the brother handling the part. He told me to prepare my answers to the questions.

    On providing my answers to the brother, he told me that my answers were too long for the amount of time that would be alloted so I should shorten my responses. This I did. On presenting the brother with my shortened responses he started to ask the questions in a different way to see if he could get me to express myself differently. After a few tweaks here and there, he finally resorted to giving me the answers which were already prepared by the WT and told me that this is what my answers are expected to be.

    Like you I was congratulated for something that was not my own story but a script given to me to read by the WT because that was what they wanted the audience to hear.

    • November 14, 2015 at 1:41 pm
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      My comment ended up in the wrong place – it was intended as a reply to ‘Ready4toFade’s’ comment above.

    • November 14, 2015 at 2:07 pm
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      Brother: Dee, how do you feel about Jehovah’s loving gift of allowing you to share in the field ministry?

      Dee: Well, at first, it took some getting used to. I’m not a naturally outspoken person, so it was a bit of a challenge to muster up the courage to talk to people about things that could potentially be offensive to them. Plus, I had to adjust my priorities. There were some things I really enjoyed doing on the weekends, but I had to remind myself that this lifesaving work is more important than anything else.

      Brother: Try again, Dee.

      Dee: Eh, I mean, even though I was a little nervous sometimes, I eventually got used to going out in service. And though there were other things I enjoyed doing, I learned to prioritize my time so that I could still do those things once in awhile, while also having a full share in the ministry.

      Brother: Nope.

      Dee: I’ve really learned to enjoy field service. And I am careful to strike a proper balance between my ministry and other activities.

      Brother: Oh for Pete’s sake. Here… [hands paper to Dee]

      Dee: NOTHING makes me happier than FIELD SERVICE! When I’m stuck HAVING to do something else, all I can think about is how much I WISH I WAS OUT SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS!!

      Brother: Well done, Dee. Right from the heart– just the way we wanted it.

      • November 14, 2015 at 3:33 pm
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        Watchtower’s scripted response is a sign of control. Everything about this religion is scripted. Nothing heart felt. Nothing pure. They think people with an education beyond the high school years is not being humble. People are taught to think on their own two feet. I really appreciate your experience. It shows that Watchtower cannot trust their own people.

      • November 14, 2015 at 4:33 pm
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        @JB

        Thanks for the laugh JB, you couldn’t have said it better ☺

        • November 14, 2015 at 5:13 pm
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          I appreciated your comment, Dee. It perfectly illustrates that element of illusion required to keep people in the Org believing they have the Truth. Even parts that SEEM like they’re real-world experiences can really just be the usual sly indoctrination. Yuck.

      • November 15, 2015 at 3:33 pm
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        Dee: “And I love getting the door slammed in my face and people getting into their car and driving away when they see us coming. It just makes me feel so good.”

    • November 15, 2015 at 4:26 pm
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      Thanks Dee, your story makes me feel slightly less guilty for my past sins, however coerced they may have been. It makes you question it all, including those scores of yearbook experiences, including the more fantastic ones coming out of war-torn areas where Witnesses are under ban. I know Cedars has shed new light for me regarding Rutherford’s actions in dealing with the Nazis.

  • November 14, 2015 at 3:24 pm
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    Neurological disorders are not watchtower’s expertise. One of my family members had a eating disorder and it was the hardest disease to ever hit my family. No one in the congregation understood or empathized with my family. It was like my family had Leprosy. No one wanted to get close to my family in the Jehovah’s Witness religion. My mother would ask for some assistance from the elders but they would not even bother with my parents. The congregation and the Watchtower organization was of no help at all. The religion was of no comfort and definitely not a hiding place from the wind.

    I cannot imagine the struggles this family is going through with their son having autism. The past comments suggest that one kingdom hall was not showing neighborly love to this family with their son. Therefore, this family had to move to another kingdom hall. How sad. Jesus cannot be thrilled by that clear oversight on Watchtower’s part.

    Jesus Christ went to those who were struggling. Jesus took care of people who had disorders. Jesus had love for neighbor. Watchtower likes to point that Jesus is our model to follow. However, the reality is that the slave does not care.

  • November 14, 2015 at 7:51 pm
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    I felt compelled to leave a comment- I’ve been out for about six years now, but little Jaden’s story reminds me of the autistic children in my past congregation. The only reason they were not ostracized completely? Their parents dictated every thought, every movement, everything, and all in accordance to ‘Jehovah’. They were, in appearance and superficially, perfect little witnesses. Until the loud noises made them cry, or until the other witness kids didn’t want to invite them to our ‘cool’ kid parties. I often wonder what happened to those kids. My brother is an Aspie, and he has always hated the JW religion, he saw right through them. I hope someday this organization falls, they’ve destroyed too many lives.

  • November 14, 2015 at 8:44 pm
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    It is very sad the segregation of these precious little ones.

    Not all JW are like this though, I think there are some that are loving and kind these ones are usually the so called misfits in the congregation anyway, others it is rare that are part of the elite in the congregations soon just go along with the party line.

    The organization stifles any natural affection with its status and rules of what one must do to be accepted. The most loving of JW I have found are those that are not regarded as being spiritual strong because of not meeting up to the GB forever work to show you are most valued in Gods eyes.

  • November 15, 2015 at 4:21 am
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    Great to see that he is paying attention to Tony Morris’ regulations on trousers.

    • November 16, 2015 at 3:40 pm
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      priceless!

  • November 15, 2015 at 8:18 am
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    There have been many high functioning autistic children nearly beat to death outside the door of the KH for fidgeting drawing on the Watchtower. It make me so mad that I allowed my ex-husband elder beat my children. Now the GV testifies under oath “we don’t accept corporal punishment for children” when asked at Austrialian Royal Commission. He thoroughly explain the rod of discipline was figurative. JW’s certainly don’t believe in striking children. Permanent post trauma life.

  • November 15, 2015 at 1:52 pm
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    After reading everyone’s comments today I began to reflect. I have two nieces who had tubaligations because the end is near. I remember at an assembly my nieces and their husbands moved to different seats because a child and her parents sat in the row in front of them. That was a good behaving child without a problem. My complaint is about the way the organization encourages people to treat its own members. A child who doesn’t understand the full consequences gets baptized at age 13 and then loses everyone through emotional black mail. The society needs to not interfere and stay out of a parent and child’s relationship. I don’t like it disfellowshipping is used as emotional black mail weather a child is mentally handicapped or not.

  • November 16, 2015 at 9:31 am
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    The Kingdom Hall I attend just had a brother return from Bethel, he was “reassigned”. I feel really bad for these young brothers who have been dealt with this Watchtower fiasco. They need much encouragement from their family and close friends. Watchtower states that they have been “reassigned”. On planet Earth, we call it a layoff. The Watchtower wants them to go back to pioneering with no pay. The Bethel-minions have come back home and now have an opportunity to make decisions that benefit themselves and not an organization wanting free labor.

    Brothers who are returning from Bethel. We appreciate your sacrifice for the years of service. It is now time to re-assess your goals. Take personality tests and find out what you excel at job wise. This notion of we will put you where we want is now gone. It is in the past. Your next chapter of life has begun. Learn a skill that is actually marketable. Construction is not a strong skill in today’s modern world. The job growth rate for construction careers is not as strong as other more advanced careers are. Time for you to go to community colleges and technical schools for a much better opportunity. Now is not the time to be reassigned. Or, be used in another free labor campaign for Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. It is over with Watchtower. Their goals are short-lived in this world. Now you need to be in control of your life.

    As you can see the word, “reassigned”, has a more positive connotation than the word “layoff”. Layoff has a negative connotation and does not fit in with the Smurf ideology (play the Smurf la-la song) at Watchtower. The Shiny Happy People psychology and their grape Kool-Aid Concoctions are starting to wear off and people are starting to realize what the reality of Watchtower really is.

    Ex-Bethelites, do not become a Watchtower minion. Be an individual who can think and move forward.

    • November 16, 2015 at 2:36 pm
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      Ok Doc. this is spooky because someone spoke to me yesterday at the hall about being ‘laid off’. Do I know you? If you snitch on me I know where you live lol.

    • November 16, 2015 at 5:37 pm
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      Good advice Doc. Take an assessment to help determine a career path, get the education and the skills. Couldn’t agree more. Regards

  • November 16, 2015 at 2:44 pm
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    START. When I watched the broadcast it was on the recommendation of a piosneer (patronising dried up twig no kids and knows it all) Like other commentors i felt depressed after the manipulation play. Can I say i’m SCREAMING inside with guilt because i’m one of those sisters who put her children through hell and indoctrination because my husband is witness royalty and the blue eyed boy of the cong. I woke up goddammit and the future is so bleak because one of my children is at that age where they don’t fit anywhere the schoolkids are marginally better than the holydubs. The other kid quite sociable so i invite all the worldly friends to bridge the gap.The problem with my firstborn is that i drummed in no worldly friends but the witness kids shun my child so this child really has no one but another autistic fringe jw who is 20yrs older .WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE AND WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?.Sometimes i feel so sad and broken and even the grandparents shun my kids because they are not up to standard (Husbands family).I have so many incidences in the kh out of it, scandals at school with other jw kids. all adds to the confusion. Like so many here iv’e put up with the doctrinal crap, the social stigma, and the nonsense of cult thinking. But the way we are treated with our damaged goods kids really is the last straw. One sister actually said we were given the rubbish! So where do you put the rubbish in the trash can outside. IF I ever were to question the existence of a loving god it would be because of the treatment of disabled people in the congs .The perfect witness in their spiritual paradise does not want reminding that real people have real situations in life that are hard to deal with and don’t go away. I spent nearly20 yrs in one cong and there was not one scrap of compassion there ,not an iota of love for my children. So when i meet my maker i want to know why, what actually went wrong? Love does not identify jehovahs witnessess never has done and never will. Some of them are hateful beings and if they get their comeuppance it will not be too soon.There are individuals that i hate so much i shake with hatred all because of vicious things said to my childrens faces. Some of you know i’m a suicide survivor and IF IF IF i had not had my wonderful beautiful kids , I would not be commenting here. I have too many incidences of bad behaviour to recount but heres one . I was nursing my toddler when another sis came in the room and beat her child continuosly over the head with the bible to shut it up it was colloquially known as the thocratical thump! Oh MY God there are some shameful abusers in this rotten religion. The sins are up to heaven. sorry I’m ranting a bit but i am in pain and remorse for dragging my poor children to all these horrid meetings and putting the fear of god into them. Ruthless/ruthlee. note to JBREEZNER thanks for you faith in me bro a kind word is so nice thanks for listening folks rl

    • November 16, 2015 at 4:54 pm
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      ruthlee, I also have so many regrets about how I allowed my kids to be brought up in the JW religion.

      I remember so many kids that my kids went to school with, wanted to be friends with my kids but because they were “worldly”, my kids were never allowed to do anything with them and I could never allow them to come over to our house. The moms would ask if my kids could come over and I would always have to make up excuses like they were sick or something else because I didn’t have the heart to tell those moms that their kids just weren’t good enough association for my kids because they weren’t of our religion. The kids at the Kingdom Hall, that were the same age as my kids, thought they were too good for my kids.

      My husband quit being an elder when they were young and the way it happened, the elder that announced he was quitting, made it look like he had been removed and so from then on, our kids were treated very differently and basically lost all the fake friends they had before that. It about killed me the way our kids were treated after that. When my husband was an elder, he had the Watchtower study and when that elder made the announcement like he did, he said at the same time that the book study wasn’t going to be at our house either and then when my husband raised his hand at the Watchtower study, the conductor refused to call on him. Then we went to another hall 45 miles away for three years and then came back here. By that time all the kids had gone their separate ways and my kids were left basically on their own. The nicest kids to my kids actually are not Witnesses anymore. The ones that stayed in are the most arrogant. Two of my kids are still strong in the religion and I wished with all my heart that they weren’t.

      I don’t know how any kid can grow up “normal” in the Organization and be able to normally socialize with “worldly” people and if they want to get a job, they need to be normal.

      Kids who grow up in the “truth” who do get along in the “world” when they grow up, learn to put on an “act” of humility but deep down, they think they are far superior than anybody they either work with or meet, that is if they bought into the brainwashing, hook, line and sinker.

      If all the people around them that they work with or go to school with, knew the true attitude of JW children and adults towards “worldly” people, I don’t think they would like them very much.

      When it comes to my old congregation, there are precious few that I would label as actually humble.

      • November 16, 2015 at 5:10 pm
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        My son once told me that I had destroyed his childhood because of ‘that damned religion of yours’. My heart broke in two. Now my son is helping me escape by offering me a refuge. He told me how proud he is of me for waking up. My daughter just doesn’t want to loose her friends… I really don’t think she believes in any of the clap trap that comes out of the ‘tower’ but she does have a love for God in her own way although admits she never really prays. Now I need to get my oldest grandchild out though she tells me she hates the meetings (she lives with her mother who married a non witness so they have double standards and my granddaughter is so confused). My heart goes out to all you parents and grandparents but waking up is the best thing we can do for our children. Hopefully they will see it too.

    • November 16, 2015 at 6:26 pm
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      Ruthless Ruthlee, You don’t sound negative. It’s the cringing and recoiling that made you feel like you wanted to die. Every time I hear them say ‘Jehovah says this’ and ‘Jehovah says that’ I cringe and recoil. Many of us experience that. It’s good for us to hear about experiences like yours. It shows everyone we’re not alone. You’re awakened and you’re being realistic. They use guilt as manipulation. The guilt trips the organization and it’s people put regular people through causes people to want to die. JWs don’t act lovingly the way their literature and videos say. That’s all propaganda. The last time I went to a meeting a sister I was sitting next to started fussing at me before the meeting started because she hadn’t seen me out in service in a long time. While she was fussing the brother up on the platform started talking. I was embarrassed so I looked behind us and saw a sister listening to the fussing that sister was doing, The sister that was listening to all the fussing fluttered her eyelashes at me as I looked at her out of insincerity. They are the most insincere and judgemental people I know. I was so frustrated I felt like I wished I was dead. That feeling comes from frustration. The longer I stay away from them the clearer my mind gets. When I returned to visit the meeting sounded and felt dumb. I feel people have to dumb down to be in that religion. The longer I stay away the harder it is to be around the indoctrination. Ruthlee THANK YOU for sharing your experience.

    • November 16, 2015 at 10:08 pm
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      Ruthlee, your account is absolutely heartbreaking. The fact that it is an ongoing situation, with no easy solution, makes it even more agonizingly difficult. My honest reaction, even as only someone who merely READ your account, is anger, sadness, confusion and frustration– sincerely. And as I have this reaction, I realize that what I’m feeling, as significant as it is, can’t even be one thousandth of the intensity of these emotions that you feel every single day.

      You’re right– when they hurt children, it should be the last straw. I don’t know all of the complexities of your situation, but now that you know the REAL truth, your job is to dismantle the indoctrination your kids have been victims of (by the Org) anyway you can, to whatever extent that you can. I don’t mean to say that thoughtlessly. You know your own situation. If plainly stating to your kids (or anyone else in your family) that the Org is a cult would have catastrophic effects, then that’s not the way to go. But if you have little opportunities to safely counteract misconceptions in your kids’ minds by saying subtle things here and there, then by all means, do that.

      You’ve realized that the Org doesn’t have the truth. Everyone on this site wishes we would’ve figured that out a LONG time ago. But your kids still have their entire lives ahead of them. School is oftentimes a miserable experience for kids in all sorts of situations. Although it’s agonizing to see a child have a hard time there, the good thing about it is that it’s only temporary.

      The Organization really is in a downward spiral. It really is true that more and more people are seeing the grotesque flaws in the teachings of this cult. Your children have the advantage of having a mother who has woken up. All they have to do is be caught on the wrong day by one of the Org’s profane pronouncements, genuinely question or disagree with it, and you will be right there to guide them to the real truth. With every passing day, and with every bizarre misstep by the Org, there is an increasingly good chance that will happen.

      You are in a very important position in their lives. I know I can’t talk you out of feeling guilty– no one can. But the reality of the matter will always be that they are victims of the disgusting, twisted doctrine of the Jehovah’s Witnesses cult. They are NOT victims of YOU.

      Everything you have done for them, right or wrong, you did with loving and sincere motives. Everything you will do for them in their future will be with those same sincere motives. I can tell from the intense pain evident in your comment that you are a LOVING mother. All you can do now, is keep being a good, loving mother with the benefit of your corrected view of life and the world around you.

      Please know that I already expect that you are doing everything good you possibly can for your kids. But what I offer is from the heart, and hopefully helpful in some small way– even if only taken as moral support. I appreciate you sharing this with us, and we’ll be here when you want to share more. You are truly among friends here, Ruthlee. And of course the same goes for Caroline and Tara and others in our little family here. I’m dropping a 50 megaton bomb of SINCERE love on y’all. So just deal with that.

      • November 16, 2015 at 11:15 pm
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        Hey JB,
        Mind you get another cult started with all that love bombing!☺

        • November 17, 2015 at 9:49 am
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          *the members of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are having so much fun wearing colanders on their heads that I think the members of our new cult should wear something on their heads too LOL!!!!

      • November 17, 2015 at 8:25 am
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        Dee, absolutely not. Oh, okay. On second thought, let’s do it. We can call it the Cult of Getting the Hell Out of the JW Org.

        Commandment 1: Get the HELL OUT of the JW Org (as soon as it becomes reasonably possible for you, without having catastrophic effects in your life).

        Commandement 2: Find a healthy and harmless path to happiness that works for you.

        That’s it. Fulfill those obligations, and you’re done*.

        *There will be some upcoming revelations regarding the Hale-Bopp comet that may require a “small” act of devotion, but it’s nothing to be worried about.

        • November 17, 2015 at 9:54 am
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          *the members of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are having so much fun wearing colanders on their heads that I think that the members of our new cult should wear something on their heads too LOL!!!!!!!!!!

          • November 17, 2015 at 9:59 pm
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            Sorry to leave you hanging, Dee. I’ve been moving this week. And everything is going wrong (as it always does when you move). Things should be getting back to normal soon. I hope…

      • November 17, 2015 at 10:44 pm
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        Oh I’ve been love bombed – I like it…. All you need is love…. na na na na..all you need is love, love. Sorry, been on the Egg Nogg.

        JB is totally correct Ruthlee, his words on it not being your fault (our fault) but the borg. is true. We are victims just as much as our children are… now we help them to escape.

    • November 19, 2015 at 4:25 am
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      Oh ruthlee, we feel your pain. If the cruelty is done to us, we get over it, but when the cruelty is directed at our kids it’s just too much. The sense of guilt can be overwhelming. I know because I am full of it too. It’s the guilt of dragging our children through this painful journey of ‘the truth’. What a lie that our children would be treated with love. Ha, that was the biggest lie of the lot.

      Anyway, ruthlee, keep praying, and leave if you can in your own time. And please don’t think about suicide anymore. It is not a solution for you, please believe that. We would care very much if you were to be contemplating this, so please get it out of your mind. Your family are too important for you to leave them. Girl, stay strong. You need to be if you have to leave the Watchtower. Love your kids and stuff all these hypocrites. Be positive and try and work something out for yourself. Don’t give into hopelessness. It is nowhere. Love yourself embrace a life without the Watchtower. Live your dreams and have a sleep in for a change and try and stay calm. Remember stay strong.

  • November 16, 2015 at 5:42 pm
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    My husband and I brought up 4 children as jws. My younger 2 are both in the autistic spectrum. My older 2 don’t have Asd and are both reg pios and married to jws.
    We were always regarded as bad associates because our 2 younger kids were considered ‘out of control’ and lacking discipline. Our older s and d were generally well behaved during meetings because they knew they’d be taken into another room and smacked if they fidgeted too much. My Asd boys couldn’t be treated that way. I hated taking any of my kids out and disciplining them during meetings and used to consider meeting attendance more like an exercise in obedience than an opportunity to partake of spiritual food. I started to notice that if my kids made a noise i’d get people glaring at me or rolling their eyes but if the grandchildren of Elders played up they’d get sympathetic smiles and offers of help.
    I left the religion 4 years ago and took my younger 2 with me. They are 17 and 20 yrs old now. It was the best thing I ever did for them ( and for myself!)
    When you are a parent to a child with special needs, everything is harder. School is hard- really hard! You have to fight for everything every day. Getting help from Drs, specialists etc trying to get financial help from govt etc it all takes its toll on you physically and emotionally. Support is so hard to get and non existent in congregation. You blame yourself that you have no friends. You try to excuse the lack of love from cong as fear of the Unknown. But, it’s inexcusable. My 20 yr old son was teased and called ‘gay’ for years by his jw peers- some boys with Aspergers are quite effeminate. In fact, it was when I discovered that he actually is gay that I left the religion. The thought that what he is means he would die at Armageddon was too much. I figured if he was going to die there was no way I’d let him do it alone! I’m so proud of him.
    My 17 yr old hated the meetings too. He has ADHD and Asd. I would talk to him whilst we were out in the car. We would listen to his favourite music and look at passers by, then discuss how unlikely it would be that a God of love could just destroy everybody and leave only jws alive!
    It’s mad that my older 2 think that raising them as jws helped ‘save’ them and my younger 2 think that getting them away from the religion set them free!!
    In case you’re wondering, my husband returned to the religion a couple of years ago. He doesn’t ever go out on ministry and his meeting attendance is rubbish so as far as I’m concerned there’s hope for him yet!

    • November 19, 2015 at 4:10 am
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      Boy, you really had your hands full. I thought it was bad enough bringing my children up and they were normal, which was bad enough believe me, but I cannot imagine dealing with special needs. Almost impossible and it would have been impossible to please the elders. You have all my sympathy believe me.

      You mentioned the cruelty to your son from the other Witness children and I had a bad memory came back. There was a function on in a brother’s factory where the congregation was invited. We had just started attending the meetings. I had been told that the Witness children would be lovely and would take care of our children. I remember looking over and the three girls who were peers of our daughter stole her shoe and were running away with it throwing it to each other. Our daughter tried to chase them to get it back and started crying. I thought it was one of the cruelest tricks I had ever seen and it made me sick at the time and it was being played out on my own flesh and blood. I still get upset when I remember it. I so wish I had not got involved with this crappy religion. So the cruelty was not just at kids with special needs. It was pretty much directed at anyone who was different.

  • November 16, 2015 at 5:58 pm
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    Thank you for your hard work on this article James. We so much
    appreciate the time and care you put into writing for all our benefit.

  • November 16, 2015 at 6:00 pm
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    Hi Ruthlee, I am so sorry for the pain you and your children are suffering. I can’t even pretend to have any real wisdom on the matter. I don’t know the ages of your children but I assume they are still at home. One thing we did as parents was tried to instill as much self-confidence in our children as we could. We wanted them to feel good about who they were as individuals and not in comparison with anyone else. I don’t doubt you are already doing that, just keep it up. Feel good about who you are as a loving parent. This suffering is the result of nasty people whose thoughts and opinions just don’t matter. Of course that doesn’t make the pain any less when they’re in your children’s faces. You may have to get tough mama. If someone got all up in my child’s face, they would only do it once. Perhaps you have already been mama bear…good for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with anything profound but just know we’re with you. Regards

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